^...they might just take issue with you overgeneralising one or some feminists you have encountered to all feminists. Just sayin'

Hah well you got me there

I've watched closely the development of 2 recent internet drama and I've never before seen a larger group of people less willing to have a rational discussion. Although it's probably just an internet thing. I've seen people debate for days about whether or not getting your feelings hurt makes your actions afterwards literally perfect, and nobody gave an inch. It was pretty nuts.

Since I've become more aware of WTF is going on with people, I've noticed a tendency for people to be a tad extreme when it comes to isms. Many generalize others on the premise others will generalize them. Truth of things is we are all individuals. Some of us take up the same causes as others but it's often for reasons as varied as our personalities. Some are there to be seen. Others experienced a trauma. Some of us are sick of seeing those important to us treated poorly. Except online. Online, we are all part of a huge seething cloud incapable of expressing itself in any way other than smiling all with mighty bolts of lightning.

Since I've become more aware of WTF is going on with people, I've noticed a tendency for people to be a tad extreme when it comes to isms. Many generalize others on the premise others will generalize them.

This is why I think that no sane individual should never ever identify themselves as a feminist in any kind of debate environment, regardless of how much they agreed with any particular set of feminist tenets. If you make that mistake, there are endless rivers of shit qualities that anybody can instantly attribute to you and all your time would be spent fighting misconceptions and dodging strawmen.

Had to leave work early today to get one of my molars pulled, as it was it was cracked and in agonizing pain.
I'm not able to brush or rinse my mouth until tomorrow morning (so the clot can heal), so I'm stuck with death breath until then. At least the anesthetic is still working (not bad, considering I had it done about 3 hours ago).

Since I've become more aware of WTF is going on with people, I've noticed a tendency for people to be a tad extreme when it comes to isms. Many generalize others on the premise others will generalize them.

This is why I think that no sane individual should never ever identify themselves as a feminist in any kind of debate environment, regardless of how much they agreed with any particular set of feminist tenets. If you make that mistake, there are endless rivers of shit qualities that anybody can instantly attribute to you and all your time would be spent fighting misconceptions and dodging strawmen.

Yup, true, but that is exactly why I do claim the "title" (when asked. I do prefer discussing actual issues than ideology though). While tedious, the misconceptions are all too easy to debunk. If every sane feminist are vocal about their stance, strawmen "arguments" become less and less effective, (analogous to "The more people come out as LGBT, the less prevalent the stereotypes and prejudice") and I think we're seeing more and more of that lately.

Bookwyrm: Ouch! Fingers crossed the anaesthetics don't wear off too soon.

It's weird. I got told I'm a feminist because of how I treat/act towards my wife. All I was trying to do was not be a jackass.

Yup, true, but that is exactly why I do claim the "title" (when asked. I do prefer discussing actual issues than ideology though). While tedious, the misconceptions are all too easy to debunk. If every sane feminist are vocal about their stance, strawmen "arguments" become less and less effective, (analogous to "The more people come out as LGBT, the less prevalent the stereotypes and prejudice") and I think we're seeing more and more of that lately.

I don't agree with that at all. The misconceptions are easy to debunk on paper but from my experience that's almost never how real life works. From my experience the one thing that stops fundamentalists, racists or homophobes or whatever from thinking clearly are their emotional attachment to the issue. It seems like 9 times out of 10 people are only capable of thinking: "my feelings got hurt therefore fuck you." Everyone does this to some extent. If you have ever met a fundamentalist you have to know that you can't change their mind with reason. It never works that way. You kinda have to sneak your idea about gender equality into their mind before they have had time to judge you based on misconceptions.

Besides, it really hard to poison the well if you rebrand the same ideas as "gender equality" instead of "female empoverment". I think every american who has heard the argument that social healthcare is bad because it's communism knows this very well.

edit: my internet dyslexia is getting worse by the day instead of single words, I'm starting to skip half of the sentence.

[JuZ]

Gah, the shit I have to listen to on a daily basis as a dad at home with two kids is absurd.

I'll be minding my business, just walking with the kids, maybe carrying one or both them (I have long arms and also have an ergocarrier, it's not a big deal), and I am either Mr Mum, giving Mum the day off, "really got my hands full there", or some other variation of that condescending stuff.

Turns out many, many people think that human males are incapable of looking after kids or, if they are capable, they must be eithet insane for choosing to, or desperately struggling with it.

Fatherhood is fucking awesome (and yes, it is often very hard) and gives me such a ridiculous amount of joy... I feel genuine sorrow for parents who can't be arsed with their kids. Even more for the kids.

I have no time for gender role pigeonholing bullshit from strangers. Just enjoy life!

Amen. People are morons!

Hear, hear!
Your kids are lucky to have you, Juz.

Oh, and, aleksi: I can't be bothered with those kinds of extremists at all. Kill them all with fire!

[JuZ]

*here are some words so my post doesn't appear entirely frivolous.

I gave in and started digitizing my media. Collections reached a point where even carrying out an afternoon's music to the yard was insanity. Just as I got used to all the benefits, storage developed a fault. I can transfer everything over but said fault recurs randomly and the hardware really shouldn't be run without someone nearby with a fire extinguisher.

I have no idea how, but my family seems to know exactly when I'm trying to have a nap and will either phone or call in at that exact moment. After 3 disturbances, I have abandoned today's attempt

[Victimlas]

Gah, the shit I have to listen to on a daily basis as a dad at home with two kids is absurd.

I'll be minding my business, just walking with the kids, maybe carrying one or both them (I have long arms and also have an ergocarrier, it's not a big deal), and I am either Mr Mum, giving Mum the day off, "really got my hands full there", or some other variation of that condescending stuff.

Turns out many, many people think that human males are incapable of looking after kids or, if they are capable, they must be eithet insane for choosing to, or desperately struggling with it.

Fatherhood is fucking awesome (and yes, it is often very hard) and gives me such a ridiculous amount of joy... I feel genuine sorrow for parents who can't be arsed with their kids. Even more for the kids.

I have no time for gender role pigeonholing bullshit from strangers. Just enjoy life!

Don't listen to people! Your kids are lucky to have you take care of them!

I think all stay at home parents get a version of this... I usually get the "what do you DO all day?" or my favorite "but you were so smart, how could you give up everything to just be AT HOME??"

I do have to agree though that awesome Dads just don't get the credit they deserve. Happens to my Hubby too.

[JuZ]

Gah, the shit I have to listen to on a daily basis as a dad at home with two kids is absurd.

I'll be minding my business, just walking with the kids, maybe carrying one or both them (I have long arms and also have an ergocarrier, it's not a big deal), and I am either Mr Mum, giving Mum the day off, "really got my hands full there", or some other variation of that condescending stuff.

Turns out many, many people think that human males are incapable of looking after kids or, if they are capable, they must be eithet insane for choosing to, or desperately struggling with it.

Fatherhood is fucking awesome (and yes, it is often very hard) and gives me such a ridiculous amount of joy... I feel genuine sorrow for parents who can't be arsed with their kids. Even more for the kids.

I have no time for gender role pigeonholing bullshit from strangers. Just enjoy life!

Don't listen to people! Your kids are lucky to have you take care of them!

I think all stay at home parents get a version of this... I usually get the "what do you DO all day?" or my favorite "but you were so smart, how could you give up everything to just be AT HOME??"

I do have to agree though that awesome Dads just don't get the credit they deserve. Happens to my Hubby too.

Thank you

I had a tough day yesterday so it's good to hear something positive!

When strangers ask me why I'm at home with the kids, rather than go into detail about illness and the hundred other factors that went into the current arrangement, I just say "wife makes more money than me", smile and walk away. It feels better than growling at them to mind their own business. I know because I've tried that too haha!