Best wishes Mark, hope everything gets better :/

Woken up at 7am this morning by my Dad ringing me to tell me my Mom was rushed to hospital last night because her lungs just shut down and she couldn't breathe. On a ventilator all night, by the sounds of it. She's back breathing on her own now and hopefully she'll be discharged tonight. So yeah, good morning wake up call.

All the best to you and your family, dude. Hope she gets well soon.



About a week ago got a text from my mum saying she found out her sister has stomach cancer and basically, it's grim. Then on Wednesday she found out that they can't give her chemo or operate, and she has a couple of months at most. (This is being relayed to me as Mum hears it as she's kiwi and all her family including her sister live in NZ) I feel just terrible for their whole side of the family, it would all have been such a shock. I'm assuming they just discovered the cancer really late and by then there wasn't anything they could do, it all seems to have happened so fast. She's not old either...Mum is one of 7 and second eldest at...55?, sister in question is the eldest and I wouldn't put more than maybe 5 years between them.

I didn't really know my aunty... I think the last time I went to NZ I was maybe four, I can't picture her at all and I'm not really sure we ever met, so I'm just trying to look after Mum at the mo'.. It's hard being far away from her knowing she's having such a shit time, I try to check up on her a lot but I can't call her (well, I know her and I know she wouldn't want me to) as the first time I did she was at work and she just couldn't talk for tears. She wanted to either come visit me or fly me up to see her for Mother's Day but now she's making two trips to NZ to see her sister before & after, so money wise it's just not feasible. She's going to go the long way home and visit me on her way back the second time but I regret that it has to be under such circumstances, she won't be in the mood for sightseeing or any of that. One of my good friends owes me a fair sum of money after I helped him out of a tight spot and he's trying to pay me back so I can afford to fly up and see Mum myself, but even that's hard to plan when we don't exactly know when Mum will go to NZ...it's all a bit of a clusterfuck, but it can't be helped.

Sorry for being so depressing, lol.. I just needed to say something I guess. I don't know what to feel, except sad really.

Not sure if slowly getting sick...
...or just haven't slept well in days.

[JuZ]

Woken up at 7am this morning by my Dad ringing me to tell me my Mom was rushed to hospital last night because her lungs just shut down and she couldn't breathe. On a ventilator all night, by the sounds of it. She's back breathing on her own now and hopefully she'll be discharged tonight. So yeah, good morning wake up call.

All the best to you and your family, dude. Hope she gets well soon.



About a week ago got a text from my mum saying she found out her sister has stomach cancer and basically, it's grim. Then on Wednesday she found out that they can't give her chemo or operate, and she has a couple of months at most. (This is being relayed to me as Mum hears it as she's kiwi and all her family including her sister live in NZ) I feel just terrible for their whole side of the family, it would all have been such a shock. I'm assuming they just discovered the cancer really late and by then there wasn't anything they could do, it all seems to have happened so fast. She's not old either...Mum is one of 7 and second eldest at...55?, sister in question is the eldest and I wouldn't put more than maybe 5 years between them.

I didn't really know my aunty... I think the last time I went to NZ I was maybe four, I can't picture her at all and I'm not really sure we ever met, so I'm just trying to look after Mum at the mo'.. It's hard being far away from her knowing she's having such a shit time, I try to check up on her a lot but I can't call her (well, I know her and I know she wouldn't want me to) as the first time I did she was at work and she just couldn't talk for tears. She wanted to either come visit me or fly me up to see her for Mother's Day but now she's making two trips to NZ to see her sister before & after, so money wise it's just not feasible. She's going to go the long way home and visit me on her way back the second time but I regret that it has to be under such circumstances, she won't be in the mood for sightseeing or any of that. One of my good friends owes me a fair sum of money after I helped him out of a tight spot and he's trying to pay me back so I can afford to fly up and see Mum myself, but even that's hard to plan when we don't exactly know when Mum will go to NZ...it's all a bit of a clusterfuck, but it can't be helped.

Sorry for being so depressing, lol.. I just needed to say something I guess. I don't know what to feel, except sad really.

Not much else you can feel I guess. Very sorry to hear that.

And Mark, I hope your mum is doing ok.

[Octillus]

it's okay to vent, I've done it too. All the best to you and your family.

Very sorry to here about everybody's family's ailments. Good vibes and best wishes, guys!

Cheers for the well-wishes, guys... She's back and home and feeling a bit better. Still has to go in for more tests and stuff on her lungs just so they can pinpoint exactly what's up.

Really sorry about your aunt as well, Chimairacle. We've had a ton of cancer in my extended family in the last year so I know it ain't a fun place to be, especially when the people are in a different country. Best wishes to you and yours.

[Octillus]

The Black Keys. What a bunch of derivative bullshit that gets worshipped endlessly.

They're not bad I guess, but way to bring nothing new to the table after 50 years of this kinda shit

[JuZ]

The Black Keys. What a bunch of derivative bullshit that gets worshipped endlessly.

They're not bad I guess, but way to bring nothing new to the table after 50 years of this kinda shit

Disagree to an extent. Not bad or bullshit... There's a difference. Derivative, sure. But not bullshit. Not to my ears anyway. I like 'em. There's a lot of genuine bullshit out there. And you listen to a bit of derivative rock/metal music anyway, if memory serves?

FWIW, I read almost no music press and I'm pretty anti-social so I honestly have little comprehension of what's worshipped and what's commonly derided by the cool kids.

[Octillus]

Eh, maybe I've been a bit too harsh, but yeah, they're the most mainstream thing that "the cool kids" tend to like around these parts.

There's nothing offensive to my ears, but there's just no point listening either. I'll put on anything from the 60s-70s instead.

[JuZ]

Eh, maybe I've been a bit too harsh, but yeah, they're the most mainstream thing that "the cool kids" tend to like around these parts.

There's nothing offensive to my ears, but there's just no point listening either. I'll put on anything from the 60s-70s instead.

Fair enough. I find it's generally a blessing not to be able to wear skinny jeans or have a "cool" haircut. I'm nice n removed from what the hipsters are up to with their hippetty hop music and the dancing with the moustaches and the low vees and the no chest hair.

I went on an Australian 70s rock and blues binge yesterday so I'm with you on that. I wish modern tv had a place for live, 10 minute, acid-fueled jams sessions.

I like their sound but they have way too many songs about love and no-love for me until further notice.

Totally UN-awesome :
My life's been pretty much hell since around the new year. Finally realized (mostly due to a HUGE crush that eventually led to N.O.T.H.I.N.G., as she moved shortly after I told her my feelings) that my life basically passed me by all that time (I'm 30), that I was in a shitty geek head-space since teen years, caring more about righting the whole world (understand: the shit in my family) than caring about my own time on this planet, mostly due to unresolved parents problems, unbalanced family, bad experiences during teen years, and generally realizing that while I can thank my parents for teaching me a bunch of solid moral values and a rather good education, they have brilliantly failed at teaching me how to embrace the unknown and basically live my life.

The wake up call is pretty damn tough. I've got pretty much no friends (they're either geeks (which I'm not anymore and anything geeky now bores me to no end) or getting married and kids), no girlfriend (but massively heartbroken), hating the town I'm leaving in as it resonates with utter failure and has very limited opportunities of social interaction when you're bad at it, and my job is now also starting to bore me (which consists of sitting in front of a computer the whole day, piling up countless amount of polygons until it takes the shape of whatever it's supposed to represent). I'm suddenly striving for "real", authentic, meaningful things and spending my days doing things that would get wiped out in the crash of a hard drive isn't exactly that (yeah, just in case, we have back-ups).

Trying to socialize but as I said, I suck at it and this town sucks too. Thinking about moving, to see if my job still or doesn't suits me anymore in a different environment (we're only 3 guys at work, the other 2 are very nice guys but I'd like to see a few more people), and maybe taking a whole new path (the only good point is that I have some savings spared over the last few years, so I can take a few risks, wouldn't want to be jobless too long though, and in those day and age, nothing's certain).

If anyone reads this and feels like his life is basically avoiding him (like "why does this moron has a girlfriend and I just seem transparent ?" "why does this one has so many friends when he's so unreliable while I always try to compromise and please everyone and doesn't get any kind of recognition ?"), read some books, you probably have a wrong approach of life. The great sentences you hear from time to time, like "life is too short", "if you have the will, you'll succeed" (like that 15y.o. who crossed the ocean), and all those Buddhist sentences ("every long walk starts with a single small step" or whatever) may be true but don't last in your mind. Reading a book enables you to make parallels with your life.
I probably talked about it before but for me it was "What do you say after you say hello ?" by Eric Berne, which says a lot about being a "loser" and fearing life or a "winner" and grabbing it by the balls. It's all common sense when you were taught the right way, it's all new when you were not.
And seek help from a psychologist if you feel so. With mine I have group meetings with 5 other people and one of them has pretty much the same story than me. It's basically all the same, bad approach of life (or behavior) by one or both parents (or sexual abuse, not my case), mostly because of unresolved issues, and that bad approach is basically the only thing they'll teach you as that's how they live. Some things make it worse, as in my case, both of my grandpas were dead before I was born, so my dad's view of life (which I could sum up as "life is tough: the less it changes, the better") is the only one I've ever had... no second and third view to mix and make my own "best" of it all. We also moved away from most of the family, so no uncle opinion either (they all kind of suck in their own way though, seriously).
I guess that's why psychology often look at at least 3 different generations, cuz' it often is unresolved shit passed from offspring to offspring.

So yeah, not really wanting to expose my life (please don't quote me as I may feel the need to edit later), but I need to vent it on my favorite messageboard and if it can help anyone realize a thing or two, a few details help to explain it better.

Fuckshitfuck, parenthood lessons should be mandatory before making kids. Just sayin'.

[Octillus]

Sir, I had a very similar crisis around the turn of the year. I'm hitting a quarter century myself, and I've endeavored to better myself as best I possibly can.

Long story short, I'm packing up, picking up and starting over in the Big Apple.

It's a difficult process, but unless we challenge ourselves, there's no real point. It may have taken you time to get to where you are, but you're getting there! Good for you! I'd argue that the path that was paved for you may very well be un-awesome, but it sure seems like to me that you're on the verge of making choices in life and perspective that will pave it towards the awesome road.

[JuZ]

What he said!

I'm sorry to hear that life is a struggle for you at the moment, Falk. I won't quote you, and I also won't try to give you any major life advice! I know it's important to get a load off your mind sometimes, even if it's hard to articulate at the time. For what it's worth I've also had a bit of a horror start to 2012 too but for different reasons, so I can't and won't pretend to be some kind of oracle when it comes to having a healthy and happy life!

It sounds like you're working on things as best you can, and that can only be a good thing. Definitely moving in the right direction and that is very much awesome. You've sought out assistance, which really is a courageous and very commendable thing to do so a big thumbs up from me.

Changing cities and jobs really can help, but having done it myself more than once I'd suggest that it can be pretty isolating in itself, at least initially. So here's my one little suggestion (can't help myself haha!). If you make a big move be prepared to perhaps try one or two things that, depending on what you're in to and how much socialisation or activity you crave, will help you feel more at home. Even if it's just stuff on your own that gets you out of the house or job and in to the environment. I also find that working in a big office / team environment is a really good way to keep in touch with people and work on social skills etc. I know I used to be pretty quiet, to the point where it actually annoyed me, but now it's hard to shut me up at work and I have a bunch of people I can talk to. Partly because, like you, I find sitting in front of my work computer doing repetitive tasks all day incredibly boring! I very much feel your pain... it can be super draining.

All the best with it bro, it sounds like you're doing what you need to do.

A simplified summary:
Disabled person speaks to me for nearly an hour. In all that time, I speak for maybe three minutes.
In all that time, I barely resolve the issue at hand, and am accused of being responsible for the faults of others, of being insensitive to the disabled and the clinically depressed, and of wasting this person's time.

FACT: I called them with intention of a short and sweet resolution. I have given them the solutions they needed to hear. I displayed infinite fucking patience and did not once contradict their accusations of insensitivity as I know damn well about depression and the needs of disabled people. And still, I was made the villain.
I will show sympathy to a disabled person, but I fucking hate it when they use it as an excuse to lay blame unfairly, treat me like shit, and not let me have my say and answer their goddamn questions.



If you don't work in complaints, be thankful.