Cheers guys. I don't half pick 'em, eh? -_-
I'll be okay, seems to get easier the more this actually happens

Gave you the gift of freedom eh?

Apparently so.

And Stu, gift? Even a text? Nah, that'd imply him giving a shit.

Getting the gift of a shit is better than a shit gift!

I dunno man. I'd rather have a shit gift than a shit.

Well, not like a log shit. A more caring, loving shit.

Well, not like a log shit. A more caring, loving shit.

One that's all warm and fuzzy, and feels damn good?
This is getting weird.

Well, not like a log shit. A more caring, loving shit.

One that's all warm and fuzzy, and feels damn good?
This is getting weird.

Exactly! That kind! It'll resemble this:



P.S. It's only weird if you make it weird!

Mr. Hankey is more of an annoying twat than a good shit. Well, he's a nice guy and all, I'm sure...But a bit too lovey-dovey.

[Octillus]

I've just been dumped. On my birthday,
Wow.

I'm coming to your island soon. This man and I will have words, even if I have to take a bus.

I've just been dumped. On my birthday,
Wow.

I'm coming to your island soon. This man and I will have words, even if I have to take a bus.

He's a 6"4' beardy bag of twat, your words will be wasted. Save them for discussions over pints and win. Or tea and hugs.
Whichever would be awesome. But thank you.

What the fuuuu-

Sorry to hear that Steph. But yeah, probably for the better as has already been said.

He's a 6"4' beardy bag of twat, your words will be wasted.

Words? We don't need no steenking words...

"I'll kick you in the NUTS!!"

I think Joe Jackson said it best.

Chin up, Miss. In years to come you'll see it as one of your bestest-evah birfday prezzies.
Meanwhile, scrummy Dev goodness is soon to come your way.

HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You know, you're all totally right. And thanks for enduring me whinging, as usual. Big love <3

[JuZ]

I'm a 6'4" twat but I'm not beardy at the moment. Oh yeah and I have no idea if I can actually fight cos it's been about 25 years, ha! So yeah I can't thump anyone for you but here's another big hug.

Nnnnnnnnnnyyya!

[Octillus]

I've just been dumped. On my birthday,
Wow.

I'm coming to your island soon. This man and I will have words, even if I have to take a bus.

He's a 6"4' beardy bag of twat, your words will be wasted. Save them for discussions over pints and win. Or tea and hugs.
Whichever would be awesome. But thank you.

Do cricket bats fit on buses? That's what I thought.

But okay.

I've just been dumped. On my birthday,
Wow.

I'm coming to your island soon. This man and I will have words, even if I have to take a bus.

He's a 6"4' beardy bag of twat, your words will be wasted. Save them for discussions over pints and win. Or tea and hugs.
Whichever would be awesome. But thank you.

Do cricket bats fit on buses? That's what I thought.

But okay.

Ooh Octillus, you're so sexy when you act butch.

Steph. Fuggedabout it. Any man who doesn't appreciate you isn't worth bothering with. Save yourself for someone fabulous. And just wank lots in the meanwhile.

[Octillus]

I AM A TOUGH GUY. I am not a tough guy.

Cheers Billy, that's the plan
And Cody- You're a great guy. Toughness, meh. Who needs it.

Un-awesome: my wife was on a night shift last night, so I got up at 6 this morning, made the kids lunchboxes, got them up and dressed and breakfasted, let them kiss mom as she came home from work and went to bed. Took them to school, fed all the animals and did the morning farm shit, came home, put the small one to bed for nap, took emails and phone shit, went to do a house survey, did shopping, raced back, plucked and gutted a goose for Mrs R's dinner party. Did all the washing up to have room to work in kitchen. Stuffed goose neck. Opened wine to breathe. Got small one up and cleaned up and fed. Prepped stuffed goose neck with toddler crawling around my knees. Made stuffing for goose. Interspersed playing with toddler and fielding work phone calls. Towed scrapped car to scrapyard with toddler. Collected kids from school. Fed farm animals. Got home, got kids changed, got goose in oven and stopped kids from killing each other. Ignored screaming clients emails. Mrs R got up. Did washing up from cooking. Laid table. Welcomed Mrs R's guests. Served four course meal. Didn't insult anyone. Kept control of 5 children.

and you know what? I'm an asshole because I won't buy a dishwasher.