Dating in the noughties is like wandering into a pit of sexy lions.

Great analogy!

these lions.. where are they?

Sorry my computer spagged, this post isn't meant to be here...

Haha - about the decimals thing

I know, its very true. I actually thought when typing how infantile it sounded, but oh well.

Thing is, the longest "relationship" i had before i got with her, was about 2 weeks... about 3-4 years before (which oviously means i was very young and it meant nothing)

So 1 and a half (better?) years is "big" to me.

These things just don't come around for me. I wouldn't say im ugly (i hope im not anyway). I'm not unfriendly. But these things just dont come round for me at all. Im quite self-concious at times - ok i dont give a shit what other people think of me, unless the person means something to me, in which case i usually do. But being shy-ish or whatever, it ends up in me perhaps not showing my true colours to people if i dont know them well. It also means im quite 'picky' when choosing girls, because i really have to feel comfortable with them.

And yeah, im giving her the space. As far as she knows, i've lost all hope in getting her back and am moving on, and am happy that she's happy. I'm not getting in the way by telling her how shit i actually am feeling most of the time. (perhaps thats why i let it out on here? - After suddenly loosing the person i could tell anyone, going back to having nobody that im truely close to)

What you say about her crawling back to the person she loves:
Its something that my sister thinks as well. I think it sometimes, but others times i feel like she really has moved on and will never want anything happening again... no matter how much she knows we were good together.
And what you say about accepting her apology:
Its something i've also thought about. In a few years maybe, once everything has moved on, and she told me she still likes me, and if i hadn't found anyone by that time... i'd most likely take her back, but letting her know how much she really did hurt me and i cant have her do it again. But if it happens within the next few months (unlikely but still...), i'd really have to know she really does want me back. I dont want it to be a case of me trying to persuade her, i'd only be able to 100% trust her again if she, i dunno, almost hated herself for what she'd done (not that i want her to hate herself at all, but you know what i mean)

I don't blame this lad. I feel jealous i suppose, but i dont blame him. In fact, when me and her got together she was still in a relationship. But this guy was a complete dick - they had nothing in common. He used to take the piss out of her clothes/music. He used to tell her things like "I love my football team more than you"... and worst of all, he used to hit her (in the face, causing quite noticeable bruises)

...so when we got together, i felt it was ok, cus he wasn't good for her at all, and because it was me!! the kid she's known for so long and cared about her a lot.

So i can hardly blame this guy can i, he's doing exactly what i did.

The guy before me never knew that we'd gotten together until 3 months ish (probably) after they broke up, which although doesn't make it any better, at least he never had to feel the pain of her moving on so fast. I feel bad for doing it, but he was a dick to her, and they weren't going to last much longer at all.

About finding another person. I do know i will, im just not looking forward to this crapness until i do find someone else.
It reminds me of something i've thought of before. People get married and spend their lives with someone for the rest of their life, their "perfect man/woman" - but the amount of people that they've never met in the whole world, its crazy, that there most likely is somebody else out there that they'd be EVEN HAPPIER with... maybe

And sorry, thats one thing that i'd like added to this forum - something that tells us what gender everyone is.
For the first few weeks or so of being on her i though Biert was a girl, because of the Katie Biert thing in his sig.
(sorry about that Biert)

Sorry for "letting it all out" on here. I just figured it was nice to let it out, especially here where most people seem very wise and caring. I will get my shit together and move on up, but its gonna take a bit of time for me. This is the first big blow i've taken in ages, and a pretty big one, if not the biggest (for me so far - maybe in the future i'll look back and see this as a petit little thing)... it'll just take me a bit of time to pick up the shattered glass and rebuild my window... (what a shit metaphor )

Im not exactally prince charming so it'll be a looooong time til anyone shows interest in me. and im not exactally the most confident person I could be so I guess its back to tube8 until a non-jpeg girl appears.

No need to apologise, I just didnt expect to be on the recieveing end of a 'heartless relationship' after hearing all the stories of it being men who broke hearts and women who cried over it.

Exactly the same goes for me.

Although i think this all may have shedded some of my "lack of confidence"... knowing how little the negative oppinions of others should mean to somebody in this world.

But i cant say until im "back out there"... i might end up turtle-shelling and being too scared for anything now. lol

... and worst of all, he used to hit her (in the face, causing quite noticeable bruises)

I raged. Hard.

But i cant say until im "back out there"... i might end up turtle-shelling and being too scared for anything now. lol

I know I'll be fine thats the thing, I know I need to look forward but with everything going on in my life (believe me theres alot more) besides this relationshit stuff, Ill get back up on that donkey and find another girl.. just at the moment, i'm no where near that... i'm just gonna take a verrrryyyy long standard break from life.

... and worst of all, he used to hit her (in the face, causing quite noticeable bruises)

I raged. Hard.

Yeah, its really bad. I really hated him for it.
I never really saw him much, the first time was at her sisters party at their house. He was calling me a "Megadeath" (for obvious reasons) (he was a 'chav' by the way) ... so i kinda stood up for myself a lil bit (i never usually do - it was especially odd in this case cus he was 21 and i was 16, a situation where i naturally feel quite inferior as stupid as it is)... so he never liked me from the start.

A couple of weeks later, i was in Lu's car with her while she was on the phone with him, basically breaking up with him, but i felt all shakey with anger a little bit. I cant remember what he was saying, but it really pissed me off. He was a complete bastard.

I just really hope she never falls into a relationship like that again. I really hope she understands how much i care about her and never want to see her hurt - it'd kill me to know that she'd finished me for a relationship full of bullshit like that, i really want her to be happy.

But i cant say until im "back out there"... i might end up turtle-shelling and being too scared for anything now. lol

I know I'll be fine thats the thing, I know I need to look forward but with everything going on in my life (believe me theres alot more) besides this relationshit stuff, Ill get back up on that donkey and find another girl.. just at the moment, i'm no where near that... i'm just gonna take a verrrryyyy long standard break from life.

Keep away from relationships sure, but don't become afraid of them. When you feel you can, sit down and think through it logically. What you learned, what you gained, what you lost, what you compromised... Write it all up in a big chalk board in you mind, and then cut it off. Keep it there as your experience and lessons learned. Detatch emotions from it, and see the bare facts of the relationship you had. It becomes a lot easier to deal with, and makes a lot more sense too.

It's then one of your most useful tools in relationships for the future. You can spot 'warning' signs faster, and all that general jazz.

I've learned a fuckload from the err... 3 relationships I've been in. But I don't regret them. I may regret not acting faster on situatuions sooner, but it is good to get the learning from these. I think if I hadn't been through it, I couldn't have the relationship I'm in now.

It's all twisted up jumbo, which I think a lot of people spend far too much time purposfully investing in. I never gave a shit about being in a relationship. Obviously it's nice, but its not needed, it's not essential to life. I can think of a lot better things to do with my time, then fuck around trying to attract people.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been commited to the relationships I have been in. I've never ever done something in a relationship to someone else that would hurt me (So, I've never ever cheated or anything.)

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

I know being in a relationship isn't everything, its just i spent most of my time with her, my whole lifestyle adapted to having her, and its weird trying to adjust back so suddenly. Of course i'll still have some great times without her, some awesome memories to hold on to, but it doesn't hide the fact i was GENERALLY happier being with her. All the good memories i have that didn't involve her, DID involve her in some way. The good times with my my friends were that little bit better because of the happiness i had inside knowing im with her.

you could say "No i refuse to be in a relationship ever again" for sure... but when that special someone does come along, few humans could say no could they? - and i know thats what'll happen to me, be it someone new or Lu again. (not that im saying i refuse to be in a relationship - i want one, it was awesome lol)

Im just looking forward to the time where i dont get these annoying stabby pains with every little reminder of it all, when i can worry about nothing and enjoy having the people that care around me. Hopefully this wont last long...

"I can think of a lot better things to do with my time, then fuck around trying to attract people. "

Just incase you were wondering, i wont be "looking" for anything. I hate that. I feel like 9 times out of 10 - whatever comes out of 'looking' for someone won't be completely genuine. I felt like me and Lu were really strong, because of how naturally it all happened. (Being friends for ages and then in one weekend finally realising how we felt about each other). If anything does happen, it'll have just come along - I'm not gonna seek.

I reckon we should all stick to having a big cuddle, and wander around in smocks. We can reproduce by spunking into tubes and live like mad enlightened hermit monks, listening to Leonard Cohen.

Also, we should eradicate screamo-crunk.

We need more bandwidth, now! Forums take a minute to load nowadays... Imagine when it's like 2 weeks from release. :/

I reckon we should all stick to having a big cuddle, and wander around in smocks. We can reproduce by spunking into tubes and live like mad enlightened hermit monks, listening to Leonard Cohen.

Also, we should eradicate screamo-crunk.

I agree with everything in this post.

I reckon we should all stick to having a big cuddle, and wander around in smocks. We can reproduce by spunking into tubes and live like mad enlightened hermit monks, listening to Leonard Cohen.

Also, we should eradicate screamo-crunk.

I agree with everything in this post.

I think its a good idea too. Although have the madness part going.

No sex huh...well count me out.

I reckon we should all stick to having a big cuddle, and wander around in smocks. We can reproduce by spunking into tubes and live like mad enlightened hermit monks, listening to Leonard Cohen.

Also, we should eradicate screamo-crunk.

Screamo-crunk? YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TH5ibAB ... re=related

With no sound card on my PC at work, I can't tell if Nathan's bringing the tone down again. But I bet he is.

People get married and spend their lives with someone for the rest of their life, their "perfect man/woman" - but the amount of people that they've never met in the whole world, its crazy, that there most likely is somebody else out there that they'd be EVEN HAPPIER with... maybe

Possibly - I've been married for nearly 14 years (nyeep!) and have what I'd describe as a happy marriage. But we've had some really rough times which have made both of us unhappy for a while. So I can tell you that there's no such thing as the perfect man/woman. They don't exist outside of Stepford. The best you can hope for is someone compatible, who you are willing to care for more deeply than you do yourself, and vice versa, and even then you will STILL have problems. And yes, there are probably a few men that I haven't met that I would be compatible with (although I doubt it because I'm hard work!), but I don't think about it since I've committed to one person already, and maybe that's what most people do when they get married. Plus, if I'd married one of the other 'compatibles' we'd still have problems, they'd just be different ones (or not - who knows?)!

And this is why I agree with Amber:

I never gave a shit about being in a relationship. Obviously it's nice, but its not needed, it's not essential to life