But I must point out that it's a very sweeping generalization to see relationships as positive and being single as negative. They're the same in that they both have the potential to be may different things (see Hamlet: nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so).

To sum up, keep your chin up, focus on the way things go and not the way they've gone, and don't feel a need to cling to what was. Life is too short to be caught up in the idea that someone else is important enough to consume your life. And again, disregard this if you want. Best wishes, regardless.

I felt the need to quote this for emphasis. For I totally agree.

Relationships are rather strange things... I'm kinda on the other side of the fence here, which by reading everyones responces I feel like an asshole. I'll try and explain what I mean...

I haven't really been 'single' since... 14 I think. It's strange, whenever I've had to come out of a relationship, there's always been someone else there. Which to be honest, is probably very unhealthy. But I digress. During the phase of 15-16, I left the person I was with for someone else.

I lot of events occured during that relationship though, and I... Lost the feelings I had for that person I guess. It was only really meeting this other person I realised what I toxic relationship I was in. Now... I feel like ass because of what you guys described what you're like, is exactly how he reacted. But, the bad thing is, is I couldn't tell you if he really did care about me by some of the stupid shit he pulled, or if it was just because he was afraid to be alone. I had to stop him from killing himself several times. That is a horrible thing to have to go through, and I seriously hope that none of you ever have to go through that.


But basically, the point of view I was trying to get to, is that...

I thought it would be less heartbreak for him, if I told him as soon as I can to get out of the relationship, rather than try and patch together what I had with just more false feelings and doubts about everything, and drawing out a long painful death. If she knows you are a romantic person, and shes only in it for the sex, if you carried on much longer that way, you feel (Or I would at least, obviously is all down to personal opinion) a lot worse, than if it just got cut of when the emotions (or lack of them) are realised, if that makes sense?

Sorry, rambled there. I hope that kinda puts things into a different perspective though... Sometimes having all different perspectives on things, canhelp you make more sense of the situation and get your head around it.

I wish you the best of luck in healing yourself.

"Its nothing serious and i dont want it to be"... in other words "Im just having sex with him".

It really sounds as though she just wants to move on from what you had with her. Seriously, any girl I've known to come out of a relationship and sleep with another person immediately has been a complete skank.

or is actually a typical fucking guy, who doesn't give a shit about the hell someone else might be going through, if it means getting his dick wet.

It's hardly his responsibility to instill morals in your ex. He's probably just glad to be getting his poontang; so would anyone.

Im not worried they'll last long together, cus thats not what they want... but nonetheless, this really is the hardest experience ive ever had in my life.

You have clearly not been through very much, or your life experience has been exceedingly limited. Somebody dying is INFINITELY more significant than having some woman lose interest in you. And if that doesn't add up in your list of priorities (which it apparently doesn't), be grateful she is alive, healthy and happy. It seems clear, based on the limited perspective you've given me; that you're not so much torn up about losing someone you love, you're envious of her ability to move on from you so quickly. Why on earth would you exert so much energy feeling sad about somebody who evidently couldn't give less of a shit that you're sad?

but within a couple of weeks, its completely changed... its almost like i mean nothing to her now. Im just an annoying memory of the past who just wont disappear out of her life - someone who isn't "worthy" enough to be accepted by her

Better you find out what a heartless whore she is now than when you're married with kids, eh?

reminding me of the deep cuddles i had with her at them, and the fact our first kiss was at Bloodstock Open Air... its going to suck so much

The mere fact that you didn't miss any deep meaningful conversations you had with her is further proof of her superficial, shallow cravings. Maybe if the outset of your relationship had been based more on getting to know her personality and less about "cuddling" bullshit, you'd still appreciate the fuck out of each other. But instead you became infatuated by her body and now somebody else is getting the pleasure of acquainting themself with your Lucy.

Sorry to be so blunt; you just seem like an idiot with fucking messed up perspectives on life and you should really just reassess your outlooks and get the fuck on with it.

Sometimes bluntness is the best way to get a point across, especially if others are sugar coating things.

Aden dude, it's time to move on. She has lost her feelings for you, which I think we've all gotten from your posts. She most definitely sounds like she is in it for the attention, not the mutual feelings of love or compassion.

Problems like yours happen to just about everyone at least once in their life. Some have the virtue of moving on quickly, others dwell on the past and let it control their life...

If she knows you are a romantic person, and shes only in it for the sex, if you carried on much longer that way, you feel (Or I would at least, obviously is all down to personal opinion) a lot worse, than if it just got cut of when the emotions (or lack of them) are realised, if that makes sense?

That's absolutely correct, and is exactly what happened to me. It's also the biggest mistake I ever made, and it's taken me the best part of 2 years to try and get over it. You end up hoping something will come of it, but you're kidding yourself.

Masturbation is much easier.

i think I'll just become the cold hearted twat i use to be and not give one bout peoples feelings. I already decided to cut all ties with her and burn all bridges. But shes txt me since having ago at me cause I went to my friends house, claiming I was "getting wasted" and "got over it quick" when I was literally talking about art and drinking tea... how pathetic eh? Calles me up on 'getting over it' when she's fucking some other guy.... some women just love to break a guy in pieces then stand on the remains...


any suggestions on getting over it? I'm at the 'smoke until my lungs are sore' phase.

Tough it out is all I can say really. It gets easier. Eventually.

i think I'll just become the cold hearted tweety i use to be and not give one bout peoples feelings. I already decided to cut all ties with her and burn all bridges. But shes txt me since having ago at me cause I went to my friends house, claiming I was "getting wasted" and "got over it quick" when I was literally talking about art and drinking tea... how pathetic eh? Calles me up on 'getting over it' when she's fucking some other guy.... some women just love to break a guy in pieces then stand on the remains...


any suggestions on getting over it? I'm at the 'smoke until my lungs are sore' phase.

My advice is to look around you at all the other beautiful temptresses who you could potentially seduce and fall in love with. Keep drinking tea and talking about art; life's too short to get hung up on people who don't appreciate you like they should. I believe that everyone can only meet one person in their entire life who will adhere strictly to their preconceived standards of amazing worthwhile-ness. And until you find her (or maybe him, depending on what direction you decide to swing in future), have as much fuckin' fun as you possibly can!

By the way, I'd like to apologise to you on behalf of the portion of the female population who do possess emotions such as empathy and aren't so fond of the more heartless characteristics...

TRIPLE POST COS OF SLOW BANDWIDTH???

Oober schmexy double postage (stamp).

Dating in the noughties is like wandering into a pit of sexy lions.

Great analogy!

"Its nothing serious and i dont want it to be"... in other words "Im just having sex with him".

It really sounds as though she just wants to move on from what you had with her. Seriously, any girl I've known to come out of a relationship and sleep with another person immediately has been a complete skank.

She wants to "just have fun" while she can, before marriage and kids etc. and to do that she feels like she has to be single.
It is a bit heartless of her to have done what she's done, but it puzzles me - i've known her for a long time, and the way she is being now is really unlike her. The person she is being now is "skanky", but its not her to do something like this at all, which i think i find harder knowing.

If she actually was a heartless person, i'd be able to say "fuck you" and move on, but its not like that.

or is actually a typical fucking guy, who doesn't give a shit about the hell someone else might be going through, if it means getting his dick wet.

It's hardly his responsibility to instill morals in your ex. He's probably just glad to be getting his poontang; so would anyone.

I know i know... but sorry if a human feels some form of jealousy in a moment like this

Im not worried they'll last long together, cus thats not what they want... but nonetheless, this really is the hardest experience ive ever had in my life.

You have clearly not been through very much, or your life experience has been exceedingly limited. Somebody dying is INFINITELY more significant than having some woman lose interest in you. And if that doesn't add up in your list of priorities (which it apparently doesn't), be grateful she is alive, healthy and happy. It seems clear, based on the limited perspective you've given me; that you're not so much torn up about losing someone you love, you're envious of her ability to move on from you so quickly. Why on earth would you exert so much energy feeling sad about somebody who evidently couldn't give less of a shit that you're sad?

Im only 17, so of course i haven't been through much. This is my first ever real relationship, and this is my first ever real break up. I haven't got any past experiences to learn from.

My last post was the angry side of me with all of this, that pops up every now and again... but ofcourse i want her to happy. I love her for fuck sake, of course i'm happy she is alive, healthy and happy.

I'm not feeling this shit just because im "envious of her ability to move on" - why would i be? - Like its some kind of skill?
It hurts, that she has moved on so suddenly - but i dont sit here thinking "wow that was good, i wish i could do that".
It hurts because of what i've become to her now.
It hurts because i've lost the first girl i truely loved, who i've known for so long, who i know makes me so happy, who i know i am closer to than anyone else, who i know made me the happiest i'd ever been.

reminding me of the deep cuddles i had with her at them, and the fact our first kiss was at Bloodstock Open Air... its going to suck so much

The mere fact that you didn't miss any deep meaningful conversations you had with her is further proof of her superficial, shallow cravings. Maybe if the outset of your relationship had been based more on getting to know her personality and less about "cuddling" bullshit, you'd still appreciate the fuck out of each other. But instead you became infatuated by her body and now somebody else is getting the pleasure of acquainting themself with your Lucy.

huh? - i was closer to her than anybody, and i cant see myself being that close to anybody in the near future. I did know gher personalilty, very well, and she knows mine. You're just assuming our relationship was based on sex - which is COMPLETELY wrong.
We weren't together for 1.5 years because she was using me for sex.
I should post a picture of her or something, she is a really beautiful girl, she could "pull" any guy she ever wanted. She realises that now and is using it for this "fun" she wants to have.
I was never with her for her amazing looks either.
I'm not feeling like shit because another guy is fucking this beautiful girl like i once was... im feeling like fucking shit, and maybe jealous, because this guy is able to get his hands on the girl i would do fucking ANYTHING to have back, like a walk in the park.

I'm sure you'd feel the same, if another guy had "scored" with the "girl of your dreams".

But no, i didn't become "infatuated" by her body at all - i really do love her.

Sorry to be so blunt; you just seem like an idiot with fucking messed up perspectives on life and you should really just reassess your outlooks and get the fuck on with it.

While i completely respect your oppinion, you seem to have come across as an alpha male arsehole with the wrong perspective on my story - telling me i have the wrong perspective on life, having a go at me and telling me to "get the fuck on with it" - which is true, but forgive me for taking a bit of a hard blow recently and taking a couple of weeks to pick myself up.

I feel i have a (relatively) good perspective on life compared to a lot of people i've seen in this world,im just in a rough patch at the minute and my mind is feeling rather scrambled. I need a bit of time sort stuff out in my own way. Everybody is different and getting the "fuck on with it" may not be everybodys way to deal with tough patches.

PS - I don't mean to come across as an arsehole myself. Im not like that. If you ever met me in person im pretty quiet and shy depending on my surroundings. I am in no way an arrogant stuck up cocky loudmouth, so sorry if i seem that way

Java.


It just stinks.


What a fucking mess.


Fuck you, Sun!

She wants to "just have fun" while she can, before marriage and kids etc. and to do that she feels like she has to be single.
It is a bit heartless of her to have done what she's done, but it puzzles me - i've known her for a long time, and the way she is being now is really unlike her. The person she is being now is "skanky", but its not her to do something like this at all, which i think i find harder knowing.

If she actually was a heartless person, i'd be able to say "fuck you" and move on, but its not like that.

In that case; I'd just give her space, tell her to be sure to use protection and not get any STDs, and she'll probably come crawling back to the person she loves in future. Just think twice before you accept her apology.

I know i know... but sorry if a human feels some form of jealousy in a moment like this

I'm just saying; if you're blaming anyone it should be her.

Im only 17, so of course i haven't been through much. This is my first ever real relationship, and this is my first ever real break up. I haven't got any past experiences to learn from.

I'm barely 18, don't play that card. I've found myself hurt and hurt again throughout life, I'm sure most people are the same. I'd imagine these feelings are at least comparable to other pain you've felt? If so, you'll know that in time; this too will fade.

I'm not feeling this shit just because im "envious of her ability to move on" - why would i be? - Like its some kind of skill?
It hurts, that she has moved on so suddenly - but i dont sit here thinking "wow that was good, i wish i could do that".
It hurts because of what i've become to her now.
It hurts because i've lost the first girl i truely loved, who i've known for so long, who i know makes me so happy, who i know i am closer to than anyone else, who i know made me the happiest i'd ever been.

Unlucky, but there are seven billion people in the world; half of which are women. You'll find a new special person.

huh? - i was closer to her than anybody, and i cant see myself being that close to anybody in the near future. I did know gher personalilty, very well, and she knows mine. You're just assuming our relationship was based on sex - which is COMPLETELY wrong.
We weren't together for 1.5 years because she was using me for sex.

If you still use decimals to describe the length of your relationship, you can't boast about it.

I'm sure you'd feel the same, if another guy had "scored" with the "girl of your dreams".

That's sort of an analogy for certain circumstances I find myself in. But at the same time you can't make somebody feel the same way about you that you do about them. Free will and all that.

While i completely respect your oppinion, you seem to have come across as an alpha male arsehole

I must be the only alpha male in the world with a cunt.

PS - I don't mean to come across as an arsehole myself. Im not like that. If you ever met me in person im pretty quiet and shy depending on my surroundings. I am in no way an arrogant stuck up cocky loudmouth, so sorry if i seem that way

I know, you don't seem like an asshole at all. I just think it's retarded to bitch about life on forums when you could be getting your shit together and moving on up. And it's ok, I am a total fucking prick.

PS - I don't mean to come across as an arsehole myself. Im not like that. If you ever met me in person im pretty quiet and shy depending on my surroundings. I am in no way an arrogant stuck up cocky loudmouth, so sorry if i seem that way

I know, you don't seem like an asshole at all. I just think it's retarded to bitch about life on forums when you could be getting your shit together and moving on up. And it's ok, I am a total fucking prick.

Hey, sometimes you just have to vent something to start the process of moving on or whatever. And it's better to get it out there rather than keep it bottled up all the time. Occasionally there is no other place to get something off your mind and on say something like a forum.

This is the only place on the net I'm not stalked by anyone in my family, so I think I have a tendancy to vent a little sometimes.

It's not exactly a big deal or anything anyway. (As in, posting about an event in your life.)

i think I'll just become the cold hearted tweety i use to be and not give one bout peoples feelings. I already decided to cut all ties with her and burn all bridges. But shes txt me since having ago at me cause I went to my friends house, claiming I was "getting wasted" and "got over it quick" when I was literally talking about art and drinking tea... how pathetic eh? Calles me up on 'getting over it' when she's fucking some other guy.... some women just love to break a guy in pieces then stand on the remains...


any suggestions on getting over it? I'm at the 'smoke until my lungs are sore' phase.

My advice is to look around you at all the other beautiful temptresses who you could potentially seduce and fall in love with. Keep drinking tea and talking about art; life's too short to get hung up on people who don't appreciate you like they should. I believe that everyone can only meet one person in their entire life who will adhere strictly to their preconceived standards of amazing worthwhile-ness. And until you find her (or maybe him, depending on what direction you decide to swing in future), have as much fuckin' fun as you possibly can!

By the way, I'd like to apologise to you on behalf of the portion of the female population who do possess emotions such as empathy and aren't so fond of the more heartless characteristics...

Im not exactally prince charming so it'll be a looooong time til anyone shows interest in me. and im not exactally the most confident person I could be so I guess its back to tube8 until a non-jpeg girl appears.

No need to apologise, I just didnt expect to be on the recieveing end of a 'heartless relationship' after hearing all the stories of it being men who broke hearts and women who cried over it.