What's red, sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller?








...A retard with a cheese grater

What's the first thing a soprano does in the morning?
Puts on her clothes and goes home.

What's the second thing a soprano does in the morning?
Starts looking for her instrument.

have to admit that one got me

what's black and red and sits in a tree?
A crow with a boner.

------------------------------------------------------------

Young boy is having a shower with his grandma and points to her privates and says "grandma, whats that?" "thats my beaver', she says.

the next day the same boy is in the shower with his mother, and he, again, askes her "mum, whats that between your legs?" "thats my beaver", she replies.

after a moments thought, the young boy says "well, grandma's must be dead then." "why?" the mother asks. "because its gone all gray and its tongue is hanging out."

a freind of mine posted these on another forum they tend to divide opinion (i personally find them hilarious! also, cheers coma!)

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit

Your mother is so fat.... she has heart problems.

How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she stops struggling.

What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot you racist wanker!

They're just not funny. Not even remotely.

Dead babies are like potato chips. You can't have just one.

somehow these last ones have failed to elicit any emotion whatsoever from me, im becoming a tobor

somehow these last ones have failed to elicit any emotion whatsoever from me, im becoming a tobor

No you're not, I felt the same way aboot them.

ah good, im glad i still have feelings *sighs*

somehow these last ones have failed to elicit any emotion whatsoever from me, im becoming a tobor

No you're not, I felt the same way aboot them.

What? That man walks into a bar... was hilarious. Actually It's only joke here that got me laugh.

somehow these last ones have failed to elicit any emotion whatsoever from me, im becoming a tobor

No you're not, I felt the same way aboot them.

What? That man walks into a bar... was hilarious. Actually It's only joke here that got me laugh.

I don't see how that could be funny? Alcoholics walk in and out of bars all the fucking time, no big deal.

My generic reaction to those 'jokes' was "ah, ok" instead of laughter.

Maybe the funny thing is that some people think this is fun. Although that's actually rather sad.

sad indeed, cant help being invaded by a profound sentiment of tristesse

aye i said tristesse

BIERT those anti jokes rule...

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE ANTI-JOKES?