I identify with all of you. I come from a death/extreme/core/whatever metal background, so I know how challenging some of it is too play, but alot of it has become so unoriginal and boring. I'm not sure if I just grew out of it because I'm not that angry anymore, or what. If I do listen to it, it's for effect...like, workout music. I still think most bands these days are doing a poor job at being extreme. It just doesn't have any humanity anymore. Like, how much tighter can you get? How much higher of a noise gate setting can you get? How much faster? Somewhere along the line, the concept of originality or writing a good song has been lost. Shit, Morbid Angel was heavier than ANY of these bands in the late 80s!! Or, what about the grindcore scene? I dunno. It is personal preference I guess, but I still haven't heard a band more extreme than Discordance Axis, and they didn't have a bass player! They weren't the fastest either...but that dangerous energy they had has a way of seeping into your veins, and it wasn't about how tight or fast they are (Edit: or about the skill level of playing)... I dunno, maybe I'm full of it. 
