HEVYDEVY FORUMS

So I broke up with my girlfriend, I feel sick, we were really close, she was my best friend for years, and now i don't even know if I'll see her again. I wish there was some way we could make up and get back together. I got diagnosed with messed up fatigue problem and anxiety issues mid last year, it all creeped back in last month after i got sick for a while with infections, i guess she couldnt handle supporting some one through such a time, as well as i was there for her 24 hours a day when her mum passed away. i feel abused and lost hope and trust in humanity now.

like ass and death rolled up in a rice paper roll

How does one cope with such a loss?

any stories? or help?

would love some consolidation....just really rough time

at least dev is on tour.....

Hey man.

Really sorry to hear about the break up, 2009 was a shit year for me in that department so I know exactly how your feeling right now.
I split up with my fiance in May after being together for almost 7 years. Quite a shock to the system. Its very easy for your 2 lives to become totally entwined so you don't just lose someone you love but also a friend and a way of life.
It may sound like the oldest advice in the book but time IS the biggest healer. It might be hard to see the future right now but you have to believe that things can get better. My life certainly has, I now have a new girlfriend and life seems good again. I'm sure you will experience the same up turn in fortunes.
Keep yourself busy, see your friends, always look at the positive side of things. Even if its only something small, like the fact you now get to spend more time doing something you enjoyed doing on your own (I don't mean masturbating ). I found I had more time to see friends and they helped a hell of a lot.
I also enjoyed being single for a while...it takes some getting used to after being in a relationship for a while but its great!

I could not see me being where I am now just 3 months ago. It seems a lifetime ago but I feel great right now, so keep the faith.
New Year = New possibilities.

Take care,
Nick.

Nick speaks the truth, completely. I don't have much to add from what he's already said. Keep yourself busy, so your mind doesn't focus on it much. Being bored is the worst thing to have when in that situation, espeically if you have anxiety issues.

I hope you feel better soon.

Amber.

Mealz wrote:How does one cope with such a loss?

ultimately its up to you how (or if) you cope. but this'll help. when it comes to sorrow, loss, and overcoming, these guys speak truth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM2-iPAY2p4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLCXc5w0Ls8

http://www.crowbarmusic.com/albums.htm

[youtube]6kp5ClrSvNI[/youtube]

Jack8the8Ripper wrote:

Mealz wrote:How does one cope with such a loss?

ultimately its up to you how (or if) you cope. but this'll help. when it comes to sorrow, loss, and overcoming, these guys speak truth.

[youtube]oMA9-tx6Z6U[/youtube]

Age-old technique of getting over girlfriends - get out there and have quality sex with every woman you meet. And drink a lot.
A lot. (this may not necessarily make you more attractive to women but it will help you deal with having sex with some of them, because let's face it, the odds that they are all going to be hot-looking are slim, and they probably aren't going to be slim). When you can't handle the jokes your friends are making about some of the monsters you are dragging home with you, then you can quit and sober up and deal with the ensuing shame and self-loathing, liver damage and deviated septum and you will have forgotten all about whatsherface.
Trust me, it works like a charm.

I like Sab's approach.

However, sometimes it's not that easy for emotion driven souls like ourselves. If this is the case, Billy's idea is the way to go...

sj_2150 wrote:[youtube]6kp5ClrSvNI[/youtube]

Makes me LOL every time.

Hey guys! thanks heaps for your responses!

its been a f****n grueling week, but me and my girl talked about it for a little bit, we ended up getting back together as of yesterday, but there's still a crap load to work out and I'm not entirely convinced now ,after having time to think about it, that it will work out, its still in the works. i might be a lucky guy in the end (or unlucky, not so sure yet)

niklang wrote:I could not see me being where I am now just 3 months ago. It seems a lifetime ago but I feel great right now, so keep the faith.
New Year = New possibilities.

Its so awesome to hear about your story nick, to actually hear your positive story really makes me feel hopeful about the future, I'm really stoked for you that after a 7 year relationship you can say those words. awesome.

Billy Rhomboid wrote:
Age-old technique of getting over girlfriends - get out there and have quality sex with every woman you meet. And drink a lot.

my liver is already shot as i have a fatigue problem, i drank hard for about 6 years. not cool. not a fan of having sex with anything that moves either, but thanks for the advice?

....and that song just reminds me of this
[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/533_egKX09o&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/533_egKX09o&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

sj_2150 wrote:[youtube]6kp5ClrSvNI[/youtube]

I love this guy and yeah i think its funny, Obviously your joking though right? i remember once i was walking pissed with a mate of mine away from the pub and there were these roses, i sniffed them and told him how good it was, it smelt amazing, he was a total bogan, He called me a 'poof' and a 'faggot' among other things, it really fired me up, i said to him "what?! you want me to sniff dog shit on the side of the road and be a man?! coz it smells like shit and not a rose?!" we got into a fist fight yaddayadda and so forth. my point being, that type of 80's aussie bogan male outlook is ridiculous, its a huge reason why young adult males in australia have resulted in suicide. just cop it on the chin. A man is NOT an island, i don't care where your from.

Mealz wrote:

sj_2150 wrote:[youtube]6kp5ClrSvNI[/youtube]

I love this guy and yeah i think its funny, Obviously your joking though right? i remember once i was walking pissed with a mate of mine away from the pub and there were these roses, i sniffed them and told him how good it was, it smelt amazing, he was a total bogan, He called me a 'poof' and a 'faggot' among other things, it really fired me up, i said to him "what?! you want me to sniff dog shit on the side of the road and be a man?! coz it smells like shit and not a rose?!" we got into a fist fight yaddayadda and so forth. my point being, that type of 80's aussie bogan male outlook is ridiculous, its a huge reason why young adult males in australia have resulted in suicide. just cop it on the chin. A man is NOT an island, i don't care where your from.

i just wanted to see how you reacted really. you did well

2005 was the worst year of my life. Early in January my de facto partner of 4 years left me. Then my Dad told me he had prostrate cancer (he's since got over this after operations and chemo). Then I was informed a very good old friend of mine had jumped (or was pushed) under a train and died. Then my recurring back problems flaired up and I couldn't walk for about 2 months. I'm a magraine sufferer and I got about 30 that year (I usually get 4-5 p/a). Then, in December, as if the year was saying 'I'm gunna get you one last time before I'm done', my cat died. What you call an 'annus horribilus' of a year.
Now, I've got a new missus, who's great, I live in a heaps better house and drive a heaps better car. I made the transition to working entirely from home in '06-'07 and I absolutely LOVE it. I'm making more money now than ever, and I basically work when I want. My band is releasing their debut album this year and life is grand.
The point is, and sorry to use a massive cliche, that time DOES indeed heal all wounds. Having a positive attitude, ultimately, will help you through as well. You feel like a bag of shit now, but in a year, it'll lessen a fair bit and in 2 years you won't give a flying fuck about your ex who deserted you. GUARANTEE it.

sj_2150 wrote:[youtube]6kp5ClrSvNI[/youtube]

Even your mum f***** sucks.

Roddy wrote:2005 was the worst year of my life. Early in January my de facto partner of 4 years left me. Then my Dad told me he had prostrate cancer (he's since got over this after operations and chemo). Then I was informed a very good old friend of mine had jumped (or was pushed) under a train and died. Then my recurring back problems flaired up and I couldn't walk for about 2 months. I'm a magraine sufferer and I got about 30 that year (I usually get 4-5 p/a). Then, in December, as if the year was saying 'I'm gunna get you one last time before I'm done', my cat died. What you call an 'annus horribilus' of a year.
Now, I've got a new missus, who's great, I live in a heaps better house and drive a heaps better car. I made the transition to working entirely from home in '06-'07 and I absolutely LOVE it. I'm making more money now than ever, and I basically work when I want. My band is releasing their debut album this year and life is grand.
The point is, and sorry to use a massive cliche, that time DOES indeed heal all wounds. Having a positive attitude, ultimately, will help you through as well. You feel like a bag of shit now, but in a year, it'll lessen a fair bit and in 2 years you won't give a flying fuck about your ex who deserted you. GUARANTEE it.

Man thats hardcore! yeah this year has been similar in terms of shitness (cancer, people dying, personal health issues, Both my dogs died this year too..so i can see where your coming from too man)

Thats so cool about your band and job etc... Working from home must be so awesome! i wish i could get into that somehow, whats the name of your band dude??

Mealz wrote:

Roddy wrote:2005 was the worst year of my life. Early in January my de facto partner of 4 years left me. Then my Dad told me he had prostrate cancer (he's since got over this after operations and chemo). Then I was informed a very good old friend of mine had jumped (or was pushed) under a train and died. Then my recurring back problems flaired up and I couldn't walk for about 2 months. I'm a magraine sufferer and I got about 30 that year (I usually get 4-5 p/a). Then, in December, as if the year was saying 'I'm gunna get you one last time before I'm done', my cat died. What you call an 'annus horribilus' of a year.
Now, I've got a new missus, who's great, I live in a heaps better house and drive a heaps better car. I made the transition to working entirely from home in '06-'07 and I absolutely LOVE it. I'm making more money now than ever, and I basically work when I want. My band is releasing their debut album this year and life is grand.
The point is, and sorry to use a massive cliche, that time DOES indeed heal all wounds. Having a positive attitude, ultimately, will help you through as well. You feel like a bag of shit now, but in a year, it'll lessen a fair bit and in 2 years you won't give a flying fuck about your ex who deserted you. GUARANTEE it.

Man thats hardcore! yeah this year has been similar in terms of shitness (cancer, people dying, personal health issues, Both my dogs died this year too..so i can see where your coming from too man)

Thats so cool about your band and job etc... Working from home must be so awesome! i wish i could get into that somehow, whats the name of your band dude??

Yeah, ya just get years like that in life sometimes!

Here's our band's video, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlkjc5-Q2a0

OH! yeah i watched your clip when you posted it earlier last year!!! awesome clip man, it really kicks ass!!! it looks like it must have cost a lot to get made