I have struggled with several addictions for years. I was into the harder stuff i.e.- Opiates, Ecstasy, Cocaine, Benzos...... plus copious amounts of alcohol on top of that. I never liked hallucinogenics, but on the rare occasion I would meet Devin, I always smoked weed with him (except for one time in Detroit, when DTB was driving around in an RV). I was a rabid fanboy and on a few occasions I am sure he was bothered by my insistence on smoking with him. Seems silly in retrospect. I apologize for that Devin.

When I heard Infinity on Ecstasy, I thought that EVERYONE should heard it that way, so I provided some for my friends. I ended up hurting many people in the process. I have to admit, it sounded completely awesome.....but the emotions were false in a sense, being clouded by an overload of seratonin.

I have since been clean for almost a year (for the second time), and everything is so much more clear. The music I am making is phenomenal, and the way I HEAR music is much broader. I thought if I kicked drugs, the music would stop, because all good art comes from pain, right?

Wrong. Good art can come from dealing with life on life's terms. I can't express how many times the message in the end of Soul Driven has saved me from self destruction, and it even rings true sober.

The only way I knew how to kick drugs was to admit complete powerlessness over them.....and get into a twelve step program. But, different strokes for different folks.

Devin, I was wondering how you managed to do it? Did you mourn the loss of them.....or the lifestyle? I know I did. Now recovery, music, and good friends keep me inspired. And spirituality.....

Has anyone else had a simliar experience? Tell me I am not alone....

Dan

The only way I knew how to kick drugs was to admit complete powerlessness over them.....and get into a twelve step program. But, different strokes for different folks.

I'm extremely curious about the twelve step program. How does it work? Does it work? The thing is that to me admitting powerlessness translates as giving up and isn't that the exact opposite of were you would want to go? This is a touchy topic so lets make it clear: I'm not saying 12-step doesn't work. I'm only asking how it works.

Kicking drugs is not the end of the world mate. Even though I'm not a complete stranger to some of the softer drugs I must say that the best and the worst I've felt in my whole life have been completely sober. The best and the worst by far.

I hope your recovery goes well. Take care.

There is a saying in recovery....."Surrender to win". When all the chips are down, you have hit your bottom and there is nowhere else to turn, you have to surrender to your disease. And it is a disease. For addicts and alcoholics, our egos tell us that with enough willpower, we can kick it ourselves. We have all the reservations in place- "I'll use less", "I'll switch to a different drug", "I don't have a problem because I still have a job", and on and on. The power comes FROM the surrender, because you don't have to fight it anymore. You are free.....

In the twelve step program, drugs/alchohol/gambling/food.....whatever your poison may be.....that crap is only 10% of the disease. It is a symptom. The other 90% is your thinking. You have to change your outlook on life. The steps are a spiritual journey with no destination. It is ongoing, and I am loving it. I have learned so much about my character defects....my assets. I am slowly learning to like myself and hopefully someday even love myself. I hurt alot of people during my using, but most of all I hurt myself.

You are right, it IS a touchy subject. I hope that helps. I would be here forever if I tried to cover the reasons how and why I feel it works. Thank you for your encouragement!!

Dan

I've done other drugs. E coke, acid, oxys, you name it

ive never felt the urge to continue using other than cannibus i guess its my genes or way of thinking but every time i used it just led to bad experiences and i just left it at that

smokin weed is the shyt my dad used to do it my uncles do it all the time and my moms brother smokes like a chimney its just imprinted in my genes hahaha

meh... i don't believe in the twelve step oh no im so powerless approach... but im not an addict... frankly id prefer a more secular apporach to resolving addictions than the cultist activity of 12 step but whatever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tPNgHrIkgo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uwx2P5LJgk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PjpOsE3xoY

sources of my belief if you care ^^^

[The Dev]

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Fatherhood rights all your wrongs?

I never touched the heavies but I did smoke a lot. One summer I had this huge guilt trip about missing opportunities and putting random shit in my body (who knows what kind of fertilizers and crap was in the dro I was getting) and that was it. I found it pretty rewarding to put my energy into schoolwork and a relationship, which is what made it easy. Now I have a smoke from time to time, but I went a full 2 years without it, even after getting dumped and having no life. It might not be much given the kind of stuff other people go through, but after years of smoking nonstop no matter the circumstances, that was a change for me. I guess my experience was all about waking up and seeing how precious my life is, which was actually a process that gradually unfolded over a couple of years as I had various realizations. A lot of subconscious stuff gradually came to the surface to open my eyes. In a lot of ways, I'm fighting this part of my personality that has held me back from engaging in life the way I believe I'm supposed to. Cutting down on the weed was just a part of that fight, which didn't stop there (and unfortunately isn't over).

Just wondering if I can keep this thread alive.......

Drugs are bad, mmmk?

I've never even tasted beer or any form of alcohol in my life.
I have a strict zero-tolerance towards narcotics.
That's how I've managed to stay sober and clear in the head.

And because I don't know what I'm missing, it's so easy to stay sober!

I've never even tasted beer or any form of alcohol in my life.
I have a strict zero-tolerance towards narcotics.
That's how I've managed to stay sober and clear in the head.

And because I don't know what I'm missing, it's so easy to stay sober!

Thats right! Don't EVER try narcotics......Humans weren't meant to have the option to feel good 24/7, that's what life is about....accepting the good with the bad.

I envy you in a way.....But, regrets only build resentments.

Dan

I don't know about drugs, as I've never tried them, but I'm of the opinion that alcohol is good in moderation, and certainly better than abstaining altogether.
I've certainly learned a lot about myself through drinking, and I don't think my life would be as good as it is now if I had never touched it.

Each to their own though, there's no right answer.

There's problems in the life, so i sadly got to kill them drinking. But no drugs. At all

Some people just like to push themselves and get carried away. I've learned that a few times, luckily not physically myself, but friends and family. I don't think that trying drugs a time or two really is a bad thing, they are there to try if you want, just like trying a burger or throwing a rock into a lake. Now if someone was eating a shit ton of burgers or throwing a shit ton of rocks into a lake, that might even be bad.

I've done acid and shrooms a few times, as well as smoke and I won't do them again after having a great time with them. They opened my eyes and gave me an experience to remember, but not one to try again.

I guess I never made a problem out of it, but I can see how others can.

My thoughts on all the technicalities don't exist right now, merely an idle thought.