This is a question not only for Devin, but for anyone who can relate to the experience.



Have you had/do you have relapse dreams?



A few months ago I quit smoking weed (it was an addiction for me), and I do get the occasional dream. It scares the shit out of me, to be honest. In the dream I feel like I do want it again and I feel that old weakness I used to have, so I smoke...only for it to be followed by guilt, regret, disgust...I think, "all my resolve, all my progress for nothing." It doesn't happen every night or even once a week, but I do get the dreams.

Actually, last night I was dreaming that I saw Devin and he was talking about having done psychedelic mushrooms again. Weird.

It's totally normal. When I got clean, I was having them a few times a week, but they progressively got less. My main drug of choice was methadone/or any painkiller i could get my hands on, but I was having dreams about smoking crack and shit, which I have never even seen, let alone tried. The brain is a bizarre place...I think it is a coping mechanism. You pollute it with a foreign/abusive substance for so long and it gets used to it, like it needs it to survive. You take the substance away, and the brain needs to rebuild itself and sort things out. It won't last forever, but just know that it is totally normal. Don't give in...

Its extremely normal actually. Fears tend to come into everyone's dreams very often at least for me. Unfortunately I end up getting confused a lot that the dream was real and have panic attacks from time to time that prevent me from going to work that day and end up curled up in a ball the rest of the day. The confusion between a dream and reality a lot of times is what gets me to have a relapse in reality if that makes sense. I suffer from GAD/Manic Depression and I find that the meds tend to increase the vividness of the dreams as well. Not sure if anyone else knows what I'm talking about. Personally the best way for me was to slowly ween myself off of things. Caffine, sexual addiction, porn, drinking etc. Going cold turkey is what really made me go insane and the dreams were never ending and felt like they lasted forever.

It's great to here stories of people getting off of addictions and more so weed addictions because I have so many friends that just can't admit to themselves that it ruins their lives. I'm all for giving help to those that ask for it and are ready to clean themselves up. It's a struggle we all deal with.

That confusion between dream and reality that you mention is what gets me. Waking up is the greatest relief sometimes...

I've had using dreams before where I wake up, drenched in sweat...totally freaking out, thinking I used again...that I fucked it all up. One time it took me 10 minutes to truly realize nothing happened, and that I was actually in my own bed. This was probably after a month being clean...

Heh, I've never smoked in my life, and I still have the occasional dream where I've started smoking and become addicted, I don't think it's specific to giving something up.

Heh, I've never smoked in my life, and I still have the occasional dream where I've started smoking and become addicted, I don't think it's specific to giving something up.

NOOOOO!!!!! It's a special club!! You are not welcome....OUTLANDER!!!

I've been clean for over a decade (I'm 33 now) - this was after completing a two year-no contact with the outside world-recovery program.

...I STILL have using dreams, occasionally. But the key is... they're nightmares. Thoughts are immaterial - we all have uncontrollable thoughts occasionally,
but what's important is the way we process them, and then the behaviours that accompany them.

As a person with over a decade clean, I can honestly say - the dreams/nightmares become less intense and less effecting.

I've been clean for over a decade (I'm 33 now) - this was after completing a two year-no contact with the outside world-recovery program.

...I STILL have using dreams, occasionally. But the key is... they're nightmares. Thoughts are immaterial - we all have uncontrollable thoughts occasionally,
but what's important is the way we process them, and then the behaviours that accompany them.

As a person with over a decade clean, I can honestly say - the dreams/nightmares become less intense and less effecting.

You go to meetings and such? I need at least 3 a week...

I've been clean for over a decade (I'm 33 now) - this was after completing a two year-no contact with the outside world-recovery program.

...I STILL have using dreams, occasionally. But the key is... they're nightmares. Thoughts are immaterial - we all have uncontrollable thoughts occasionally,
but what's important is the way we process them, and then the behaviours that accompany them.

As a person with over a decade clean, I can honestly say - the dreams/nightmares become less intense and less effecting.

You go to meetings and such? I need at least 3 a week...

No, I don't - I guess it helps that I'm an addictions counselor now, and *hold* the meetings

I did a very unusual program - (www.caritas.ca). It's seriously 2 years with absolutely no contact with the outside world, and a VERY difficult program with about an 80% success rate. Once I had finished the program, I did the transition/guest (live in the program but go to work) for about a year, and went to the aftercare group once a week for another year - then I went out and go a life (a job, wife, dog, cat, home, career -film/music for film). I only recently returned to the program as a staff member this year when I cam to them with a proposal to shoot a film based on the experience and saw that they had serious staffing issues, and I thought I had something to give back since I knew the program inside out.

I generally do not consider myself to be a recovering addict anymore - after 12 years I consider myself a *recovered* addict. I know not everyone believes that this is possible, but given that we operate on the basis that drugs are not the problem... *we*/*our behaviours* are the problem... since I and many of my behaviours have changed I don't have to white-knuckle it. There's always chance of relapse... but after a decade of building a life for myself and being genuinely, truly happy... it's pretty damn unlikely.

I wish everyone could have the opportunity I had (to go away for 2 years at 21 years old). I also wish residential treatment in the US (I'm in Canada) were more affordable/available.

BTW, the Omega Experiment is awesome.

Thank you very much. We try our best

I can see why it would be easy for you to be able to think that way. 2 years is a long time to reset your mind into a totally different way of living. I had 13 days in a residential treatment center. I need the constant reminders, and honestly...I love the camaraderie in meetings so much, I wouldn't have it any other way. My support group is great, and I am involved with service. Keeps me out of trouble I guess

After 1.5 years, I can honestly say I have no desire to use anymore, and I am not white knuckling it, but the hardest part is changing my character defects. I lived so long being selfish and trying to manipulate people and situations, it isn't gonna change overnight. I am sure the success rate of any addict would skyrocket if we could all do what you did. Kudos man. And best of luck...

After 1.5 years, I can honestly say I have no desire to use anymore, and I am not white knuckling it, but the hardest part is changing my character defects. I lived so long being selfish and trying to manipulate people and situations, it isn't gonna change overnight. I am sure the success rate of any addict would skyrocket if we could all do what you did. .

This is just it - that's why our program is two years - we give the recovering addict an entirely new community and a sufficient amount of time that is devoted SOLELY to behaviour modification. We never, EVER have meeting on "This is what crack does to your system" or some such. Drug talk of ANY kind is actively discouraged - it's all about learning a new way of living.

On the success rate front, we consider ourselves to have about a 75% percent success rate for people finishing the program - but finishing is key. Our program is so difficult that only 4 out of 10 people complete it.

We often contemplate changing it to make it more palatable to people (everyone - especially government funding - seems to favour short term programs) but we always come to the conclusion that we can't change what works, and if we were to change it it might not be as effective.

But we're not the only way - as you're proving every day. Never mind kudos to me - kudos to *you*, yo!