greetings friends

I had a problem i thought i would share with you guys so i could get an outside opinion on things to try and help with how i take the next step.

I work at a general shitty job in a supermarket, this supermarket has its fair share of problems and its easy to see for the year that i have worked there.
my problem is that in the last 4 to 5 months, it is becoming increasingly difficult to work there, a lot of the staff i worked with when i started, have quit due to differences with managers and the levels of responsibilities with the job. all the new staff are careless and like to cause problems for some of us older staff.

it doesnt sound like a big deal, but when you spend most of your waking hours in the same work place, dealing with horrible people (customers, co-workers and managers) it can be very emotionally taxing in the end. it also doesnt help that ive got a mean case of depression to go with this. it actually gets so bad at times, it physically manifests into pain in my body which i need to take time off work to deal with

I really think that its high time i leave the job, but my anxiety and depression stop me, i automatically begin thinking that i cant find a better job than this and if i quit, i will become poor and wont be able to support me and my girlfriend in our home with our bills. on the other hand, work has been the reason i've had to cease work on all my creative outlets like writing music, as well as completely obliterating my social life. since the economic downturn happened, i became too scared to walk away from this, even thought just thinking about the stress i have to endure at work makes me sick to the stomach.
i thought i would ask this question here cos i know there are a few of us out there who deal with anxiety and other problems. what would be the best course of action for you guys if you were in my shoes?

any ideas from my fellow Dev-heads out there?

Quitting a job is a huge risk if you don't know where to find the next job. My suggestion is to start looking for other jobs right away, but not leave that one quite yet. When you've had some time to see what other stuff is available, and maybe gotten some replies from places (even if they didn't offer you the position), you'll know much better what the chances are of landing a better job than the one you have.

Hunting for a new job behind the back of your coworkers is sometimes an asshole move, but sometimes (particularly if those coworkers are assholes) it's the right one.

Good luck. I happen to have a friend who is in a pretty similar situation right now, so I know how rough it can be.

Do what I do, dude, work for yourself from home! It's fucking brilliant!

Gotta agree with grrrv on this one. If it's depressing you you should get the hell out of it, but hold tight to that job until you definitely have something to replace it with. Quitting with nothing else lined up would be shooting yourself in the foot, particularly if you've got a partner, home and bills to be worrying about...

Looking for a new job might work uplifting too, you'll have something to look forward to (at least if you'll get results). And whenever you are working in the supermarket you can think "I'm getting the fuck out of here, you guys just don't know it yet."

I agree with those that say to find another job before you quit the one you have. I used to work at the optical center at Wal-Mart and it nearly sucked my will to live. The work itself wasn't bad, but putting up with those customers day in and day out can be emotionally draining. But of course, it wasn't nearly as depressing as when I was on unemployment and wondering if I would ever find a job. When you are on your own, you have responsibilites that have to be taken care of which makes a lot of us work jobs that are awful. I have some friends that are working at grocery stores now because they make too much money to quit and they would take a huge pay cut with an entry level type of office job. Do you have a college degree? Can you take some night classes while you are working now?

Hunting for a new job behind the back of your coworkers is sometimes an asshole move, but sometimes (particularly if those coworkers are assholes) it's the right one.

If it's getting to the point where it's affecting your mental health, you really have to think of yourself.

Also, the employer-employee relationship is generally a business relationship, not a personal one, so it doesn't come with the same obligations. At the end of the day, your employer probably wouldn't think twice about dropping you if it suited them, so you don't owe them any loyalty.

Kill your manager and wear his face. People will assume you're the manager.Take his place of power!

...Or possibly look for a new job. I worked at once place, and I could seriously only bear it for a couple of weeks. I'm not unhappy to work, but if work makes me unhappy, then I just move on out of there as soon as.

While looking, maybe put a little money aside, if you can? It means if you absolutely cannot stay, but haven't found a new place to work, you'll have a little reserve to help tide you over until you find somewhere else. Though, I live with my parents, so I have no idea how do-able this is.

Thank you for your advice, guys

Hunting for a new job behind the back of your coworkers is sometimes an asshole move, but sometimes (particularly if those coworkers are assholes) it's the right one.

If it's getting to the point where it's affecting your mental health, you really have to think of yourself.

Also, the employer-employee relationship is generally a business relationship, not a personal one, so it doesn't come with the same obligations. At the end of the day, your employer probably wouldn't think twice about dropping you if it suited them, so you don't owe them any loyalty.

I completely agree, but part of the problem is that some of my superiors in the company make this buisness relationship into a personal matter. for example. if i get called up to work a shift on a day i have off, and i cant do it for a legit reason, the manager will try to roster me as little shifts he can to get back at me.
that doesnt seem so bad, but at the store i work at (ALDI) we are on a contract which has a minimum weekly number of hours i am meant to work, if we go below our rostered hours, we begin to go in debt with the company, as they continue to pay me for my minimum hours, even if i hadnt worked them, putting me into a minus balance. its a confusing system and its set up to try and trap some of us, it gives little or no power to the employee and a lot of managers take advantage of this system.

I would love to take night classes, but my rosters change from week to week. some days i can start at 6am, others i can start at 4pm and finish at 10pm, so its hard to plan anything ahead. it makes chasing after my dreams of music highly unlikely while im still there. i think this week, i should try searching for some jobs at local music stores of other places which might not be as taxing on my little brain

that doesnt seem so bad, but at the store i work at (ALDI) we are on a contract which has a minimum weekly number of hours i am meant to work, if we go below our rostered hours, we begin to go in debt with the company, as they continue to pay me for my minimum hours, even if i hadnt worked them, putting me into a minus balance. its a confusing system and its set up to try and trap some of us, it gives little or no power to the employee and a lot of managers take advantage of this system.

There are ALDI's in Australia too? Wow. That system sounds totally jacked. I wonder if they do the same thing here. It seems maybe it would give one incentive to show up, but then again if you have emergencies...it kind of fucks you. Wow. Hyperlame.

Wow...

Considering Dan's response, I might have to consider ALDI's place in the world. I thought it was a British thing, but apparently not.

Im not sure what the deal is in Oz, but if things turn to shit big time, at least here you can sign on to the social while your looking for a job.
But whether that's a step up from your situation, that's a different matter. Personally, I hated living off of money I wasn't earning when I was signing on.
Coupled with Phase's idea of trying to save up for crappy situations, it might not be such a terrible option.

It also means that if you do actually find a job, and have some money kicking around it means you might be able to afford something nice with it

Perhaps a nice vacation to the moon and beyond, courtesy of the Mexican Space Administration?

..I know I'd like that

Coupled with Phase's idea of trying to save up for crappy situations, it might not be such a terrible option.

You forgot Phase's best idea. Pull a Gein...

[JuZ]

I found my self in a not entirely dissimilar situation several years ago, and found a way through it. Not sure if my story will help you out at all, but what the hell...

I'd been mixing study with retail jobs for a few years, and had pretty shitty luck in terms of finding a career path that looked like it was going to give me any satisfaction. So I ditched the study and worked full-time in retail. And I grew to despise almost everything about it. Customers were the enemy, to be avoided at all costs (I had the advantage of working "out the back" for most of my day). I loathed the place and most of the management, making the average day very difficult (my job was also a very physical one, working outside in the Brisbane sun).

Anyway, it took a toll on me. I became pretty depressed about the situation and felt like there was no way out - any idea seemed like a pipedream, but my girlfriend at the time (now my lovely wife) and I needed the money so I couldn't just go on the dole.

Bottom line is I just started looking at what was out there. I checked job websites every day, bought the Wednesday and Saturday papers and read every thing I could, trying to find a better job. I applied for several different jobs but got knocked back. Then I saw a recruitment ad for a Federal Government department that seemed interesting. Around that time I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease and felt like I wasn't in good enough shape to do myself justice. So my wife applied instead, and got in!

Six months later they advertised again and I applied - I had to go through hours and hours of psychological and aptitude testing with over 2000 other applicants. Some fucking how I managed to be one of the 20 or so selected. I've been with the department for a few years now and I'm very happy there. I've been promoted and have worked in some pretty interesting and varied areas, and picked up a bunch of new skills. I make a lot more money, my bosses have in the main been generous, welcoming and accommodating (there will always be the odd arsehole - such is life) and I have no plans to go elsewhere for a long time. We've also gone from being in debt to being just a few months from finally buying our own house, which is a pretty exciting prospect.

Looking back on it, my advice (for what it's worth) would be to realise that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and you WILL get there. Seriously, if you're prepared to look and look and look, and put your neck on the line until you get a yes, you can do it. Knock on music store doors, keep yourself in their mind in case something comes up. If you want to study, TAFE and Unis both offer open learning courses so you can study at times that suit you. I did a couple of Uni subjects online and it was pretty straightforward. It's true that if you know you're doing all you can to better your situation and move on, it does make it a little easier to go to work each day. And don't worry about loyalty to the company - your life is so much more important than any guilt trip they might lay on you. And they don't need to know a damn thing until you say "I quit".

Good luck with it - I know how much it can suck balls, but you'll get there!

[Keeker]

While you're doing all that job hunting you might want to try and address the anxiety and stress at your workplace by finding strategies to help cope with it. You can't change the way other people behave or the work situation but you can change the way you let it affect you. I know it isn't easy but some people can eventually learn to just let the crap flow around and past them, without taking it all inside.

Exercise in the fresh air, relaxation, can all help give your body and mind a wee break. Finding the method that works for you is the trick though.

I completely agree, but part of the problem is that some of my superiors in the company make this buisness relationship into a personal matter. for example. if i get called up to work a shift on a day i have off, and i cant do it for a legit reason, the manager will try to roster me as little shifts he can to get back at me.
that doesnt seem so bad, but at the store i work at (ALDI) we are on a contract which has a minimum weekly number of hours i am meant to work, if we go below our rostered hours, we begin to go in debt with the company, as they continue to pay me for my minimum hours, even if i hadnt worked them, putting me into a minus balance. its a confusing system and its set up to try and trap some of us, it gives little or no power to the employee and a lot of managers take advantage of this system.

Wow, Aldi in Aus? I've seen them all over Europe, didn't know they were out there too. Anyway...

I know my words will probably be of no help, but you're not alone there. I have encountered these same issues time and time again in my years working for Argos. That also mixed in with blatant favouritism- Management taking their honeymoons while being paid and claiming expenses as 'offsite working', allowing team leaders to basically pick and choose their own hours/days off to fit around their busy drinking schedules. Which me, being the mug I am, work all hours to cover them despite not being paid their wage, as I'm too scared of losing any rare extra hours in the future...As they'll also roster me out of the 'good shifts' and put me in for less hours than I'm already on (15 weekly).

Also not aiding ongoing bouts of severe depression which takes enough effort to battle through daily, without the constant worry of being paid less and the fear of losing my home, feeding myself, paying bills and what little I've built up using the small wage earned.

As soon as a job starts to affect your wellbeing and state of mind, it's not just a job anymore.

As previously mentioned, the best way to try and overcome this is to look for alternative employment by whatever means necessary while you're relatively secure in your current job. But with the economic climate as it is, it's very difficult to be successful. I've found some of the best opportunities come forth via word of mouth, ask around and follow up on anything which may prove useful.
Also re-training isn't a bad idea, it never hurts to learn new skills in case something comes up in the future that would require them, it puts you in good stead already and could boost your confidence up no end.

While searching for work, take a look at your CV and interview technique and try to mentally prepare yourself before getting into another job. That too will occupy you a little bit and hopefully aiming at selling yourself as not just a pleasant guy, but one who is relevant and able to do the job in hand might reduce any worries/problems you hit before the most critical pre-interview stage.

All the best and good luck. I hope you find something soon