I get venting up to a certain point. Me and the missus are on different shifts. If tellIng a coworker I misplaced a hairbrush for the fourth consecutive day prevents her literally losing sleep to tell me, then I am all for that. That said there are a number of real issues which I never, ever want to hear a word of when dropping an umbrella at her office. Nor am I big on get ocular stabbings from a group largely because a couple members have had shitty times with men and filter out the good via selective hearing. It's hard enough making things work sometimes without people in positions of trust trying to sabotage them because some sleaze bag you never met from a place you've never been was abusive.

It absolutely happens that when I'm with my closest friends I share some problems going on in my relationship.
And it can be really therapeutic to have a glass of wine and just hatebash on him for a while, wich takes the edge of it and makes me more civil when I'm talking to him about whatever's bothering me. Also it can put things in perspective, I can be quite a hothead and get all worked up when it's really not a big deal, or my own fault to begin with. And my friends are really good at pointing that out to me before I make an complete ass of myself.
...I wish there really was a chill pill sometimes.

My co-workers at my new job. They are un-welcoming and I am so terribly disappointed...I believe in cooperation, not competition, and they are too competitive...and not very nice. Sigh. My self-esteem has plummeted.
This thread is showing that many of us are having difficulties with people. Let's all find a new planet and move there. Okay?

I'm sorry to hear that.
It can really be the hardest thing to be accepted in a new group that's already really tight and I just hope they'll warm up towards you soon.
A few years ago I jumped around a lot, working at different nursing homes and I had to struggle every time to prove that I was competent and well, nice. Wich most of the older women working there didn't think I was with my piercing, tattoos and all Never had much problems with the residents though, wich was the most important part. Luckily for me I can be quite charming.

Venting your frustration is one of the biggest catch-22s we all have to live with, and every year it just seems to get worse, and people seem to become more neurotic. If I vent, I find I am treated with annoyance (understandable at times) or like a total asshole who should never be permitted to speak again, even if I am not being that severe; of course, I try not to let my most severe come out, as that's just no good for anyone.
However, trying to keep it inside only increases my chance of a meltdown and stress attack. This is why I refuse to ever live with anyone again; no stress to harbor, no resentment towards the people I care for (or in some cases, tolerate).
Then again, I'm an introvert, what do I know?

It absolutely happens that when I'm with my closest friends I share some problems going on in my relationship.
And it can be really therapeutic to have a glass of wine and just hatebash on him for a while, wich takes the edge of it and makes me more civil when I'm talking to him about whatever's bothering me.

I just couldn't imagine speaking negative things behind my wife's back, no matter how angry I may be with her. I see people at work talking shit about their kids, as well. I could just never do it. IMO, it is not anyone else's business, and it would be a betrayal of trust. I couldn't do it. Why would I want to paint the people I love most in a negative light to others? I just could not do that.

What a supportive bunch of people you all are. It's nice to know one isn't alone.

My laptop broke!

... Fuck!

It absolutely happens that when I'm with my closest friends I share some problems going on in my relationship.
And it can be really therapeutic to have a glass of wine and just hatebash on him for a while, wich takes the edge of it and makes me more civil when I'm talking to him about whatever's bothering me.

I just couldn't imagine speaking negative things behind my wife's back, no matter how angry I may be with her. I see people at work talking shit about their kids, as well. I could just never do it. IMO, it is not anyone else's business, and it would be a betrayal of trust. I couldn't do it. Why would I want to paint the people I love most in a negative light to others? I just could not do that.

Me neither. I am on a few forums where people unload frequently about problems with their partners - not necessarily really heavy stuff, often day-to-day annoyance etc. Sometimes I get really cross with my wife and seethe with irritation about things where i feel she has been severely out of order, BUT... I would not dream of airing those grievances in public. I would feel I was betraying our relationship. I would find it wrong to whine to a friend or family member but in a public space where anyone could be reading it - out of the question. It just feels utterly wrong to me.

I would find it wrong to whine to a friend or family member but in a public space where anyone could be reading it - out of the question. It just feels utterly wrong to me.

The thing people don't seem to grasp is how detrimental online postings can be. Years back, I worked in the music business in a limited capacity. One of the artists assigned to me ran a Google search on their pet project. An ex's blog came up. She didn't say anything about hearing rough tracks intended for my ears only, but definitely introduced the prospect. The current missus is a whole heck of a lot better. If I irritate her, maybe something consisting of "GRRRR" will be posted to Facebook. That is my cue to find a few minutes off the floor in as private a space as possible and call her so we can sort things out.

There is a blog or message board my wife stumbled across before where it was nothing but moms bitching about their kids. Some of the vicious things some of these people said made me sick to my stomach.

It absolutely happens that when I'm with my closest friends I share some problems going on in my relationship.
And it can be really therapeutic to have a glass of wine and just hatebash on him for a while, wich takes the edge of it and makes me more civil when I'm talking to him about whatever's bothering me.

I just couldn't imagine speaking negative things behind my wife's back, no matter how angry I may be with her. I see people at work talking shit about their kids, as well. I could just never do it. IMO, it is not anyone else's business, and it would be a betrayal of trust. I couldn't do it. Why would I want to paint the people I love most in a negative light to others? I just could not do that.

Me neither. I am on a few forums where people unload frequently about problems with their partners - not necessarily really heavy stuff, often day-to-day annoyance etc. Sometimes I get really cross with my wife and seethe with irritation about things where i feel she has been severely out of order, BUT... I would not dream of airing those grievances in public. I would feel I was betraying our relationship. I would find it wrong to whine to a friend or family member but in a public space where anyone could be reading it - out of the question. It just feels utterly wrong to me.

Agree with this so much. I can understand being upset/angry with our partners, but it's such a personal thing and something I feel should be kept within the relationship and dealt with by the two people in said relationship.

Similarly, I've never understood people who go about talking about their sex life with their partner in detail to friends/colleagues. It would KILL me to hear people knew about what I was like in bed from my partner's own POV.

(But maybe I'm a weirdo?)

Similarly, I've never understood people who go about talking about their sex life with their partner in detail to friends/colleagues. It would KILL me to hear people knew about what I was like in bed from my partner's own POV.

(But maybe I'm a weirdo?)

Nothing weird about that. It shows a lack of respect for one's partner to discuss anything about one's relationship that is intimate - be it arguments or sex.

I've heard/seen people arguing that it's "just the Internet." somehow the fact that anyone who understands or can translate your language is nullified by the fact you "can't take the Internet seriously." mind yOu some of these same people put their jobs at risk via excessive facebook use, never mind all the serious real life stuff like funeral home research and taxes. It really doesn't take any imaginatiOn to picture how shitty it would feel to be reading a bad relationship blog and find out your partner is not only miserable but also lying about it.
And the kids thing... It's weird how a society that made comedy out of mom and the photo album in front of a date can think some of this shit is okay.

I just nearly cut my finger off. Infront of my dad who just shouted at me while I bled all over the floor.

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