There's definitely something to that. Once you've reached your lowest, something snaps and you realize that some things really don't matter. Like what others think of you.

But yeah on a more positive note... my introversion was pretty severe. The prospect of having to speak to anyone literally giving me nightmares. During waking hours, it was a root cause of the stuttering that landed me in speech therapy. In time, I found a balance between having a rich internal life and being sociable. In fact, I once loaned Devin my hat at a concert...
[youtube]Sd8mQhBefqY[/youtube]
I can appreciate that having people say "it will get better, honest" doesn't really help. In fact it can have quite the opposite effect when you suffer through rejection long enough. For me, the key was getting some perspective and learning to laugh like I actually meant it. For someone else, it could lie in simply admitting they like things their perceived social scene doesn't. Relax. Sit back. Bear in mind that I am a 6 ft 3 in tall broad shouldered, bearded, long hair and probably look way the hell sillier in those photos where I joined Dev on stage wearing a hand crocheted bunnyhat than you do trying to make friends.

p. s. If the video doesn't work, that's what I get for trying to link to youtube from behind a Firewall whose circumvention would get me banned.

It is very hard, and so much easier for me to just say "Well I have my fiance and my cats and my family, what more do I need?" but yeah. I think we all need companions who aren't our family or our lovers (or our furry children lol) and really, making friends is hard.

I'll keep trying, it just sometimes takes me a while to get back up when I've been knocked down. I'm not like that Chumbawumba song (thank god).

Know what's un-awesome?

Wanting to help, say something that helps, and being totally unable to do it.
And sometimes just being there isn't possible, so ..
I am letting you all know that I tend to occasionally think about you when I am not here and wonder how you all are doing.

Another un-awesome thing is that my guy just got his new bike and before he got it, we talked a lot about how'd we go cycling together and how much fun it would be.
And now we found out that even though I've been biking for maaaany years now and am in a good shape, can't just keep up with his speed.
We have one good friend who likes to bike a lot, like 50 kms in a day, and now the guys have planned nice cycling trips around the city.
Too bad the trips are 40-50 kms long
I know they both are really excited, I was too, but now it seems that for (at least) now they have out-biked me from this hobby we were supposed to have together.
Our working hours are really twisted, so we barely see each other, and we thought we'd be more together if we had more common things to do.

I will give it some time, but I will not wait forever for him/them to take me along
I came to work by bike today, so I have again toughened my workouts to wake my muscles up again!

It is very hard, and so much easier for me to just say "Well I have my fiance and my cats and my family, what more do I need?" but yeah. I think we all need companions who aren't our family or our lovers (or our furry children lol) and really, making friends is hard.

Absolutely. I don't know a single person in a serious relationship who gets by sans a sounding board once in awhile. While cats can be empathetic and there is a lot to be said for "'scuse me momma don't understand what's goin' on but here is belly PURRRRRR" it isn't really the same as having someone who at least tries to understand on some less primal level listening.

I'll keep trying, it just sometimes takes me a while to get back up when I've been knocked down. I'm not like that Chumbawumba song (thank god).

Yeah... your bass line is nowhere near as catchy (whatever the blazes that even means)!

Wanting to help, say something that helps, and being totally unable to do it.

Don't feel terrible. Actually caring enough to think of someone for a minute here and there then realize you've got no relatable experience is pretty special. When my Mom was killed, the phrase "there are no words" got used a lot. People I'd actually consider friends to followed it by a hug then stuck around in the middle distance and made clear they were there for me. You got the touch! You got the power! When all hell's breaking loose you'll be riding the eye of the storm. You got the heart. You got the motion. You know that when things get too tough you got THE TOUCH! WHEEEEEEEE
Sorry.
But yeah import me for a week and I'll make your bicycling skills look awesome. Of course that'll have to wait until I heal. Walking with a cane due to my ankle. Also think it looks kinda cool and as a bonus it means I always have a prop for some rocktastic action. Mind you work considers it unprofessional to jam out on a cane even if you are listening to a rocking 80's metal version of the Transformers theme song.

It is very hard, and so much easier for me to just say "Well I have my fiance and my cats and my family, what more do I need?" but yeah. I think we all need companions who aren't our family or our lovers (or our furry children lol) and really, making friends is hard.

Absolutely. I don't know a single person in a serious relationship who gets by sans a sounding board once in awhile.

*raises hand*

I really only have two true friends, and I have had them for many, many years. They live many miles away, and I talk to them maybe once a year. We never do more that small-talk. They will vent to me and tell me their problems, and I always have advice and a shoulder for them, but I just don't feel the need to do the same. My wife and son are the only ears I really care to share with.

Not that I mind talking about stuff with folks. If I think it is information people can use, I will divulge personal information without hesitation. Or if it's good for a laugh. I just don't ever feel that need for companionship outside my family.

It's just occurred to me properly that the 90's are getting further and further away, and all that's left of the era are really badly executed cash-in's.

I hope Soundgarden prove me wrong, but maybe nostalgia is a really unhealthy thing to be obsessed about.

Put it this way, if I thought for a moment I could convince myself it was 1993 and I had my mega drive, CRT TV and enough pairs of ripped jeans to last me, I probably would go through with it.

That's really, really sad

Why is it that when I finally get free time for a decent amount of days/weeks... I get major boredom and lose all drive to do things (non-uni related) that are creative/productive?

My co-workers at my new job. They are un-welcoming and I am so terribly disappointed...I believe in cooperation, not competition, and they are too competitive...and not very nice. Sigh. My self-esteem has plummeted.
This thread is showing that many of us are having difficulties with people. Let's all find a new planet and move there. Okay?

[Octillus]

I know the isolation feeling. I honestly often feel like I'm a file utility that converts articles for the internet, without being a human being. Co-workers sure treat me that way, and sure find every way to not talk to me whenever possible. Well, that's not true. That's the magazine that I work directly next to. The one I work for that's on another floor is awesome, and I WISH I was sitting in their section. They'd be who I'd work for full time should a position open up, so there's always hoping for that.

As far as friends go, I have a small group that I'm pretty tight with as they're finally a crew that understands my idiosyncrasies but our tastes are completely different. I tend to have anxiety about going to places by myself. Movies, dinner, concerts, etc, I just have a hard time going to these things alone, but sometimes I force myself to do them anyway.

I'd like to hope it'll get better, but I think it becomes more about living with the fact that you have a hard time talking to people.

I'm not going to divulge my own issues, because this isn't the place and I'm not at all comfortable discussing them anywhere or to anyone- let alone here. Not simply for fear of coming off as patronising or however ridiculous it may sound. Those I trust implicity are (in my opinion) the only ones who need to know...All I will say is I can absolutely relate to the above post in part, work and friend aspects aside.

Onwards...

I'd like to hope it'll get better, but I think it becomes more about living with the fact that you have a hard time talking to people.

Not always. In my case, it's easy to talk to people now. Mind you it's still difficult to make friends and influence people. See also the bunny hat thing.

My wife and son are the only ears I really care to share with.

I am very, very careful about who I vent re: the missus with. The whole BFF Solidarity Against TheSignificant Other cult irks me to no end.

I am very, very careful about who I vent re: the missus with. The whole BFF Solidarity Against TheSignificant Other cult irks me to no end.

It always comes back to the person, too. Sometimes I wonder if people talk shit about their partners to their friends hoping it gets back to them, just because they want their partner to know there is a problem, but don't want to be direct about it. Maybe a subconscious thing.

I am very, very careful about who I vent re: the missus with. The whole BFF Solidarity Against TheSignificant Other cult irks me to no end.

It always comes back to the person, too. Sometimes I wonder if people talk shit about their partners to their friends hoping it gets back to them, just because they want their partner to know there is a problem, but don't want to be direct about it. Maybe a subconscious thing.

I don't understand why people would talk shit about their partners to begin with? :/ Stuff my man does that bothers me is something I talk to him directly about, he's not a mind-reader & doing it any other way seems like a waste of time. But that's just how I see it, lol.

I am very, very careful about who I vent re: the missus with. The whole BFF Solidarity Against TheSignificant Other cult irks me to no end.

It always comes back to the person, too. Sometimes I wonder if people talk shit about their partners to their friends hoping it gets back to them, just because they want their partner to know there is a problem, but don't want to be direct about it. Maybe a subconscious thing.

I don't understand why people would talk shit about their partners to begin with? :/ Stuff my man does that bothers me is something I talk to him directly about, he's not a mind-reader & doing it any other way seems like a waste of time. But that's just how I see it, lol.

At my work, all the women do there is bitch about their boyfriends/husbands to each other. I ask "Why are you with them?," and they either say "I don't know" or "I love him!"

The guys aren't nearly as bad, though. They do bitch about their exes, though.