This is not for validation, but only because in my own moral code it's the right thing to do.

There is more to it than that, even if you do not realize it.

The very first thing you need to do is stop putting expectations on anyone else. Every human being is wired different, and expecting them to behave toward you as you do them is only setting yourself up for a world of disappointment. Of course there will be people that behave exactly as you'd expect them in life, and it makes things a lot easier. You just need to remember that your expectations are yours, and do not apply to anyone else. A lot of people just suck.

If you are constantly giving, but not getting anything back in return, then you are spreading yourself way, way too thin, emotionally speaking. Now, if just the act of doing good by others was enough, then there wouldn't be a problem. There is some result that you need and are not getting from your actions. The first thing you need to do is figure out what it is you are trying to fulfill by doing these things for friends and acquaintances. It can't be simply because your moral code demands it. If that were the case, it would be satisfied by your deeds alone.

In this age of consumption, passive communication, and blind trends, are there any real people left? Am I just so within my own head that I'm overlooking everyone/everything else? I can't tell you, but this feeling of isolation needs to stop.

If anything, I think people have become more real. People are so self-aware now that they can say "Hey, I really would rather not help that guy out," and be confident in their feelings to such a point that any feelings of obligation become non-existent. I think people today, for the most part, have a good grip on why they do what they do, want what they want, etc. However, it is still tough for some of us to figure that out for ourselves.

[Octillus]

Edit: This has all been too open for my liking on my part, so I apologize, I tend to try not to make a big fuss about things. Thanks for the kind/honest words. I tend to agree with most of them, and it's all a building process. Today was not a good day, but that does not make every day the same.

Sometimes venting works wonders. If you still feel the need, don't be afraid to pm me.

On monday we got a call from the hospital where my gramps is at.
We should go over there, his breath began to be quite light and he was very sleepy and could barely lift his own hand anymore.
Everybody rushed over to see him, and mom called me (I was at work) that gramps didn't have much time left.
Doctors said that he wouldn't see tuesday..
So we were devastated, of course.
Mom told me not to go over there, because I went to see him on sunday and he was fairly ok then, remembering me and asking about the dogs and all.
There was no need for me to see him in such a state.

I went home, couldn't stay at work and just curled up on the couch and feared for mom's next call.
She didn't call me, so before I went to bed, I took my phone with shaking hands and called her to ask how gramps was.
For my suprise she told that gramps had been better again, eating away like he's never seen food before and then telling everyone to go home because he wanted to sleep.
And on tuesday he was again slightly better and again very hungry.
Mom had been asking about his constant change of condition, and what nurse told her, really upset us all.

Because gramps can't see too well and his hearing isn't good at all, he needs quite an amount of help to for example, eat on hiw own.
But he can do it, if he gets help, and he doesn't want to be fed.
But the nurses don't have time to stay there and help him with his meal, so they just leave it on the table next to him and wonder why he's not eating..
Poor pops doesn't even know that the food is there!
And when they try to shovel the food to his mouth, he refuses because he'd like to eat by himself.
Nurses see him as a difficult patient, so they decided to double the amount of his painkillers to calm him down.

If you drug almost a 100 years old man, who hasn't gotten any food or enough liquids and has spent over a month in a bed in a weak condition, what do you think will happen?
He will be very distant, doze off and mumble and be very much out all the time, also affecting the breathing.
And then they call to us that he might not make it after they drug him like that?
He's not even that sore, and the pain medication he gets for the operated leg has been ok since the operation, he's done well.
But in a way, I feel like they are taking my gramps' life with actions like that..

But when there's no time to take proper and personal care of the patients, it's up to our family to be there when the food comes and help him eat and drink.
There is still a lot of pride in that old man and the time taken in hospital has been a big struggle for him.
And when the only activity during the long days is the meal time, it feels so unfair that it's so hastily gotten over with by the nurses.
Deliver the food and go to next room, half an hour later another nurse comes to see if you've eaten and collects the plates, empty or full, away.

I guess my point is that I am really scared for my gramps.
It's thursday now and he's still alive and well, not kicking but hanging there.
How much better would he be feeling in a nursing home, or somewhere where the possibility for more personal care would be available?

But it's mad, he survived of two big hip operations, pneumonia and the mental strains of hospitalisation for almost deaf and blind person.
He's still keeping us on our toes, tough old man!

(I know there are few health care workers on the forum and I understand that taking care of other people is not an easy thing, nothing against any of you.
Without nurses and doctors it would be quite a bit worse here ;D)

[djskrimp]

(((bearhugs))) to you, Sarai. And Octillus. And Tonya Elf. And all of you who hurt. And especially you, Keeker.

[Octillus]

d'aww thanks guyz.


I just walked through the most intense storm to get to work today.

Let's let the soaking wet guy work around thousands of dollars worth of technology!

Summer rains and flooding have put myself and others in a similar situation here. But today I wasn't carrying a book or electronic accessory, so I didn't mind walking in the rain with an idiotic grin - meanwhile everyone else huddled in their umbrellas and crowded like mice to the nearest shelter.

My boss is 100% unawesome.
She has this thing about making stuff that's incredibly easy into something else so painfully difficult.

Hope things go better, Sarai - keeping you in my thoughts.

I don't know what the hell am I to do with this person who used to be my best friend once upon a time many years ago but who I have rarely seen anymore for a long time, who deals and uses weed and occasionally heavier stuff like LSD and heroin, drinks loads of alcohol with antidepressants and sleeping pills, owes big amounts of money to other drug dealers, has always been quick-tempered and violent and otherwise bad in dealing with emotions, told me even those many years ago that he plans to live less than 40 years because then youve done everything there is to be done in life, and still gives me drunken rants sometimes online late at night about how this society and life sucks, that being almost the only way we interact with each other anymore.

The only other times we have anything to do with each other are the rare occasions when a bunch of us guys decide to go for a drive in the night and talk about totally pointless stuff to numb our heads. And that doesn't happen in the winter time.

I just sometimes think about how he's doing. And wonder should I worry myself about it.

Sounds like he's doing okay. Sounds like 80% of my friends when i was your age.

Tread carefully, Lauri. If you still want to be friends with him, that’s cool, but someone as volatile as what you described can make friendship a bitter thing. I once had friends similar to what you described, only we're not so much friends anymore.
Hell, my best friend and I were once quite close, until we moved in together, and I saw more and more of what a conniving, self-centered asshole he was, using everyone for his own gain, investing in drinks, drugs, and objects only he really seemed to care about, figuring everyone in his life was a pawn so he could advance and be king dick of the world.
I knew he was like that before, but until you live with someone, you never now how deep it runs.
We are now bitter enemies, and we do not speak. Personally, I'm fine with that. Unfortunately, it's awkward being around the people I now only vaguely consider friends due to their ties with him. At least I'm a good friend with his brother - he arguably hates him more than I do.

[Octillus]

I finally, after long cases of denial and depression over the matter, sent my first car off to be dismantled.

I LOVED that car. But, fortunately I do not need it where I live, so it's more bittersweet than anything else.

External Hard drive died yesterday. It would make clicking sounds, and light up, but didnt show up on the computer.
Tried different cables, power adapter and computers to no avail.
SO I broke the box and got the drive out, installed it in a working pc, booted it up, and got nothing. It's dead.

Did not lose any too important data, but its a pain anyways.
I wish SSD drives we're more affordable, as I think they are less prone to dying?

[Octillus]

Did not lose any too important data, but its a pain anyways.
I wish SSD drives we're more affordable, as I think they are less prone to dying?

Yes. They are exceptionally stable.